Ugh! Once again, he wants to try counseling, and he chose a certified counselor. Even though we've discussed, and be agreed, we need specialized counseling, he chose another church counselor. We've even had a phone session with Tim T, and of course, my WH did not do the work suggested and did not bother with another session. I think he feels safe with certified counselors rather than those who specialize in affairs, because marriage counselors come at it as the two need to work together, there needs to be friendship, there needs to be trust. If I'm not doing my part (like being his buddy, ugh!) then the focus is on me and what I'm doing wrong. My gut says his motives are wrong, but who cares? The counselor happens to be a friend of his. But I know how to contact him. So I decided to send the counselor an email perfectly mapping out what I know my WH didn't share. My issues, his issues, past experiences with counselors, and how recent his last relapse was. Then I asked the counselor to pray about whether he wants to take us on or not. That way he's completely aware of what he's getting into. I decided to leave it up to the counselor and didn't bother telling my WH. It won't change my trajectory. The working two jobs, I'm saving, I'm slowly getting his things packed, he's not moving back in for a very long time, if ever. And after I've saved enough, I'll know by then what my next step will be.
DD 10/16/16 WS multiple relapses Physical affair, emotional affairs, online affairs In-house separation 06/11/18 Complete separation 01/04/20 Last relapse 01/07/20 Don't be afraid. Don't be dismayed. The battle belongs to the Lord. 2 Ch. 20:15