I can see from your post that you are going through a hard time right now. I am sorry that you are feeling so down and depressed. To answer your questions, everyone's journey through healing is different. We all go through a roller coaster of emotions while going through affair recovery and there is no "right" way to do it.
Since you are struggling, I do not think it can hurt to speak with the psychiatrist and see his opinion. Only you can decide if medication is the right choice for you and you may need to try it first to find out what will work best.
You sound like you are pretty self aware when you stated "I feel like it's because now I have to actually face the pain instead of kind of glazing over it since I had previously expected that we would divorce." Going through the pain is always the hardest part and until you go through it, you will not heal fully.
In the meantime continue to try and take care of yourself and know that it does get better over time.
Thank you for your response. I would like to think I am self aware as well, I've been in individual therapy for a while and have read a lot of books and articles about affairs etc...I know that I feel so much better when I excercise and am outside enjoying the weather so I'm trying to focus on that as best I can...I feel like I know exactly what I need from my husband and deep down don't feel like he's giving me enough, and I am just really anxious because I don't know how long to wait to give him enough time to make the needed changes