I'm only about six weeks in, but I do apologize for things that upset my husband. I don't know why? I'm just feeling very weak right now, but all the while I know that I will be better off divorced.
There are two reasons that I'm staying, 1. My daughter is getting married in 6 months and she doesn't need this drama leading up to her wedding. 2. My son has some of the same anxiety and depression issues that my husband has so I'm praying that my husband can figure this out and save my son some of these problems.
Our marriage has been bad for a long time. It's a pretty long story that I can't type out right now, but I can say that if this marriage works, it's going to have to be a very different marriage. We are both seeing separate counselors right now, we are going to a retrovaille weekend in January and then the follow up 6 sessions, my husband has a psychiatrist appt in Feb, then we hope to see a marriage counselor starting the beginning of march. After the wedding (mid summer), we will make a decision about if this is going to work. I pray that we can come out of this with a better marriage, but if that doesn't work out, I am very confident that I will be ok.
My husband and I went to Retrouvaille 14 months ago. I had signed us up bc our marriage was in a brutal place. He was so unhappy and I couldn't understand what was going on. Retrouvaille was my last hope to save our marriage. 5 days before we were set to go, I discovered he was having an affair. I'm not going to say these past 14 months have been easy, but I can say with 100% certainty that Retrouvaille has got us further than we ever would have been without it. We attended the weekend and the 6 post sessions. We have also been attending Core ( a continued support group for Retrouvaille participants) twice a month since the post sessions ended - we've been going since last January and this has been instrumental in bringing us closer together. although we have had many setbacks, I honestly don't know if we would still be together without it. I'm glad you're going. Hopefully it will be something both you and your husband can benefit from. Keep me posted...and whatever happens btw now and the date you are going, still go!! It may be the lifeline you need to initiate the changes in the marriage in which you indicate is so desperately needed. You will learn so much and gain invaluable tools to communicate in effective and loving ways.