Here's a couple things that came to mind when reading your post:
1. 2.5 years is a LONG time to not be feeling a fair amount of relief. That you still feel like all the initial issues are still there is a major problem (lack of boundaries, inability to be transparent with what he's doing, his inability to stop behaviors that clearly make you uncomfortable, etc.) I don't think the phone is the problem - it's HIM. There is something (inside him) that is compelling him to engage in these behaviors. He can run across the country or move to a new one. It will follow him (and you) until he addresses it head on. 2. The fact that he has never admitted/confessed anything to you is a BIG RED FLAG. He's still trying to minimize it to himself. This is not a safe place for you. I would suggest insisting on counseling - individual for him - and later, possibly relationship counseling for you both. He's not been able to make the changes on his own... and sounds like a ticking time bomb. If he refuses, I'd consider whether this is a relationship you want to remain in. You can heal yourself 100% - what you cannot do is make someone else chose to change or grow, You healing will only provide you with the strength to make good decisions for your own well-being. That may need to include leaving someone who is unwilling to practice deep self-reflection and a commitment to making you safe.
BS - Female
Married 27 years, one adult child DD May 2016 “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - V Frankl