That’s why I helped my BS do whatever she needed, including picking up furniture for her new place, moving her out, coming up with money for the new place, staying away, anything to make it easier for her. Even though I would do anything to reconcile, it’s the least I could do after what I put her through.
I don't know about your spouse, but I know that a girl likes to be pursued, and given the chance to tell you to go away. My husband backed off emotionally. He felt shame and didn't want the constant rejection. But it made me feel like he didn't want the hassles. He learned that he needed to let me reject him so that I'd feel safe. I thought that pushing him away would make him run to her, so I wasn't giving myself the space I needed. But eventually, knowing he'd keep trying really, really helped.
DD 10/16/16 WS multiple relapses Physical affair, emotional affairs, online affairs In-house separation 06/11/18 Complete separation 01/04/20 Last relapse 01/07/20 Don't be afraid. Don't be dismayed. The battle belongs to the Lord. 2 Ch. 20:15