What a horrible situation you find yourself in right now, it's all so confusing and seems like it will never get any better.
I can relate to the cheek kiss,(mine used to kiss me on the forehead!) and I used to get the dreaded one armed hug!
If your husband is serious about reconciling with you he will want to be open and honest, showing you his phone, sharing passwords, and I would say these actions show you what is going on more than him telling you.
And you are right, it will be different in so many ways, even if you reconcile the new marriage will be completely different to the old one. Hopefully stronger and better.
But to me he seems confused about what he wants. And while he is I think you need to focus on you and your children. Work on making yourself stronger so that whatever happens in the future, you are able to cope, with or without him. Have you heard of the 180? It's designed to help you, to show someone that you are not dependent on them and about teaching yourself how to do it. Here is a link to it if you feel it may be beneficial to you. Hope it helps.http://www.network54.com/Forum/233195/thread/1302875291/last-1302891381/The+180