JKoloseik
After many years of lies, porn, denial, an affair, and pretend healing; if it actually seems like real change, not only with me but also with the community and family that was affected, does it tend to stick?
He's gone through dozens of false starts and half-measures with wrong motives, but this one's different. Even my friends are noticing. He's doing things that I know he's never done in his life. But I'm really scared that it's gonna be another huge let down. I'm continuing with me, but I'm scared of hope. 
Female BS 
DD 10/16/16
WS multiple relapses
Physical affair, emotional affairs, online affairs
In-house separation 06/11/18
Complete separation 01/04/20
Last relapse 01/07/20
Don't be afraid. Don't be dismayed. The battle belongs to the Lord.
2 Ch. 20:15
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surviving
I wonder the same!  DDay was 9/5/13.  There have been changes.  But after 34+ years of cheating, I am waiting for it to happen again.  He says he never wants to go back to that life, but lying for over 34 years tells me he is pretty good at lying.  How will I ever know that he is telling the truth now.  Time will tell!
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Crushed
That is such a good question. I struggle with that also.  How do I know if it's all lies to just suck me back in?  Can people really change or is it just an act to pacify the betrayed?  I'm on my own now and I'm not sure I will ever trust again.  He has done so much to prove to me that he is still the same person that made the choice to cheat but he swears that he is a changed man.  I guess I need a crystal ball. Otherwise I dont think its worth the risk
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hurting
Time I think, will tell. I wouldn’t trust changes when they first happen. What I told myself and also told him, is that I will watch and wait. Given how much of a liar the WS has to be, of course it’s natural for us to not trust the words or actions they display now. 

I have had 2+ years to watch and decide. I don’t think I started trusting in his changes till about a year out... and even then it has been a gradual process. Any mishaps are a major setback to that trust. I’ve made sure he knows that.
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