OWnomore
IDK if I've posted this in the right place- sorry if I haven't.
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A married man posed as a FWB, and genuinely exploited my mental health (bipolar and other issues) in order to do most things he wanted sexually.  I had hypomania for two months so didn't say no to anything.  I spelled out that I had hypomania from the start and it was effecting my libido.  He works as a therapist (not mine, I just knew him as a 'friend') so he knew exactly what he was doing, plus I told him.

After the bipolar episode which lasted 2 months, this self-confessed narcissist ditched me for a while as I was struggling after a rape I had experienced, so wasn't pure fun he could use anymore.  I blamed this rejection on myself and turning to him more than was appropriate after the rape.  I took an overdose and ended up in hospital, partly because I was considered at risk of sexual exploitation.

Once I got better, he picked me up again. A psychologist asked me recently, 'did you ever do things you didn't want in order to try and keep a friendship?'  I have ADHD and ASD traits, so I find it hard to keep friends.  He knew this button and pushed it, so I found it hard to say no to anything he wanted.  As my health improved, my libido went back to normal and I no longer felt able to do some of the stuff he wanted (some of it was quite extreme, such as wanting me to have anonymous group sex with very unattractive strangers, while he watched.) He continued to try and manipulate me into doing things I didn't want to do. I couldn't bring myself to do them and so had to begin to slowly say no to some of the things.

I was aware I was risking the 'friendship' by doing this.  Eventually I asked some people about how he would act, the sexual pressure/coercion, and they helped me realize he was not a true friend, he was just out for what he would get.

My psychologist encouraged me to report him to the police, as his sexual exploitation of me during a hypomanic episode was illegal, as I couldn't give informed consent.  I'm not expecting much from the police, as they're notoriously crap about rape etc and probably about mental health too, but I thought I should have a go.

Anyway, that's my story.  Pretty disgusting!  Am glad to be out of the constant sexual nagging, and also the fake friendship which wasn't as supportive as it seemed, and would have been very damaging for me when he eventually ended it.
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OWnomore
Part of why he was hanging around was probably because bipolar hypomania recurs, so he knew eventually he might get me to do everything he wanted again.
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Keepabuzz

Welcome. This place has good people and tons of hard earned wisdom.


One of my daughters has the same mental challenges you do, and this worries me to death. The cycle always repeats, I just worry every time what she will actually do.  I have no control, since she is grown, all I can do is worry.

Male BS, D-day July 2015, trying to stay out of the dark.....
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OWnomore
@Keepabuzz ðŸ˜¦  It's a very frightening condition for loved ones. Do you live far from her?  I think it helps if people can see their family member, check they are fairly ok etc, for their own peace of mind.
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Keepabuzz
OWnomore wrote:
@Keepabuzz Ã°Å¸ËœÂ¦  It's a very frightening condition for loved ones. Do you live far from her?  I think it helps if people can see their family member, check they are fairly ok etc, for their own peace of mind.


Very close, but when she goes manic, we don’t see her. 
Male BS, D-day July 2015, trying to stay out of the dark.....
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hurting
I’m sorry you were used in such an awful way knowingly by someone who knew how to take advantage of your problems. Welcome to the forum! It seems he really took advantage of your situation...
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OWnomore
Keepabuzz wrote:


Very close, but when she goes manic, we don’t see her. 


😧  Is she compliant with meds?  It can take a bit of trial and error to find the right meds etc. x
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OWnomore
@hurting Thanks!  I hope to avoid all such users etc in future!
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BlindCheetah
Even if the police won’t help you a report would warn his patients, it sounds like he’s in need of an investigation. Loosing his license to practice could help others even if he never has legal consequences of his actions. 
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OWnomore
Even if the police won’t help you a report would warn his patients, it sounds like he’s in need of an investigation. Loosing his license to practice could help others even if he never has legal consequences of his actions. 


@BlindCheetah Unfortunately his professional body don't act on 'personal matters.'  Am going to see if my psychologist will write to his work when the police drop it.  If not, will write to them myself.  He does some work from home, but mostly out of an office in a psychotherapy centre.  I don't think they will act on it but at least it'll mean more people are aware what he's like.
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ThrivenotSurvive

I don’t know what professional body he is licensed under but that does not sound right.  The psychology/psychiatric/social work fields are very sensitive typically to counselors who cross the lines with patients - and this does not qualify for that.  This qualifies as straight predatory behavior which would be more worrisome for them. 


Make sure whoever you spoke to about their rules knew what they were talking about. 

BS - Female
Married 27 years, one adult child
DD May 2016

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - V Frankl
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Keepabuzz
OWnomore wrote:


😧  Is she compliant with meds?  It can take a bit of trial and error to find the right meds etc. x


I highly doubt it. This happens in cycles. Sadly. 
Male BS, D-day July 2015, trying to stay out of the dark.....
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OWnomore

I don’t know what professional body he is licensed under but that does not sound right.  The psychology/psychiatric/social work fields are very sensitive typically to counselors who cross the lines with patients - and this does not qualify for that.  This qualifies as straight predatory behavior which would be more worrisome for them. 


Make sure whoever you spoke to about their rules knew what they were talking about. 



I looked it up directly on their website with the specifications laid out of what they deal with. Aside from complaints from actual clients of the therapist concerned, (which I wasn't) they only look at things covered by article 12.6, at the bottom of the page:- https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-us/protecting-the-public/professional-conduct/professional-conduct-procedure/

'Article 12.6 is used for issues such as criminal convictions or where disciplinary action has been taken by a member's employer. It can't be used for personal matters.'
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OWnomore
Once the police drop it, I thought I'd write to his place of work- at least then it'd give them an idea what he's like.  A friend had a good idea, that as my psychologist agreed this is exploitation and should be reported to the police, perhaps she could write to his place of work when appropriate, as it might seem more impressive coming from her.  Will ask her tomorrow if she'd be prepared to do this. 
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BlindCheetah
Does his wife know? You have no control over what she reports but if she knows there is a chance, maybe it would be taken more seriously coming from her.
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