arizons
On Jan 9th 2017, (7 days after DDAY) The OW called my cell phone and left a VM.. Playing a VM my husband had left for her. An immensely cruel act on her part.
   The voice mail went on with my husband telling her that he was in his man cave (The workshop/shed right behind our house. Basically hiding out to call her.) He goes on to tell her how the next day he wants to meet her and take her out to breakfast (Only I was working at the time... so whatever money was being spent on her...was money I worked my ass off to earn.) and went on to tell her to slip him a note on his truck in the back. He then ended his call telling her that nothing compared to his love for her and I love you....then he had the nerve to call her by an enduring nickname that he called me for 17 years prior.
   In any case, I know now it was largely due to the affair fog...etc etc. And of course his lying to keep the affair going...plus, add in the fact that its something he thought I would NEVER hear.
   Iv kept saving that voice mail since Dday until today. First, I would listen to it often as a reminder that yes this did and is happening and is not the bad dream that I wish it was. Second, when I needed strength to hold fast to my choices. Why I didn't want to be around my husband, why one moment I was fine but then I was in a rage... I would listen to it as a reminder that I had every right to any emotion that I was feeling. Regardless, it was like ripping off a band aid every time I heard it.
   As time went by I listened to it less and less. and when I did listen to it...its sting was less and less...until there was hardly any at all.
  Even though at first keeping it helped me keep perspective at times. But now...I feel its one of the last remaining strings that give that affair and that period anytime some power behind it.
   Today...I made the choice and deleted that voice mail. I was finally able to delete it. I feel like weight was removed off my soul today by letting it go.
Female BS, D-day 1/03/2017, 
I'm going to rebuild me like a remix,

and raise my soul like a Phoenix 
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BrokenHearted
Congratulations! It is nice to hear that people are actually healing! Good for you! I hope you continue down this path.
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iris0906
Congratulations... I wish I can do this, too. I am hoping for that day. I am only one month past DDay. And I have this recording of my husband saying he doesn't love me, he loves the OW... The horrible thing is that even with that recording, I can't decide whether to leave or try and make this work.
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arizons
iris0906 wrote:
Congratulations... I wish I can do this, too. I am hoping for that day. I am only one month past DDay. And I have this recording of my husband saying he doesn't love me, he loves the OW... The horrible thing is that even with that recording, I can't decide whether to leave or try and make this work.

 I am so sorry you have to go through this too. Although, I didn't have it on recording..my husband told me that as well... about loving the OW and wanting nothing to do.with me. He kept seeing the OW for 3 months afterror dday.
    Is he still seeing the OW or has the affair ended?
   even this fair after dday for me... I know I am making progress in my healing but I couldn't tell you if maybe tomorrow, next week.... if I might just decide I'm done.
   You need to make the right choice for you...even if that is to step back and not make any big life altering choice right now.
Female BS, D-day 1/03/2017, 
I'm going to rebuild me like a remix,

and raise my soul like a Phoenix 
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Avellino1
I found out about my husbands affair when the  OW put through  my letter box a very detailed letter about how long they had been seeing each other. Hotels they had stayed in, that she had been in my house whilst I was at work etc etc.  She included copies of text messages they had sent each other and photos of them together.  I have read the letter so many times, looked at the photos so many times..  Yes I no longer fall to pieces and two years later we are still together.  However despite being advised to get rid off it all, I find that I cannot but I cannot explain why...
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arizons
I asked myself that often... why I didn't just delete it. At least for me... it was proof to me that I wasn't crazy and this did happen and was a true reality in my life.
  I do still have a lot I have not gotten rid of. Texts...etc. but I have saved those and put them away...but I too have not gotten rid of those...at least not yet.
Female BS, D-day 1/03/2017, 
I'm going to rebuild me like a remix,

and raise my soul like a Phoenix 
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Keepabuzz
I have some texts that I have not deleted, but I am getting closer.  It really sure why I still have them. I haven’t read them, or looked at them in well over a year. 
Male BS, D-day July 2015, trying to stay out of the dark.....
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arizons
Keepabuzz wrote:
I have some texts that I have not deleted, but I am getting closer.  It really sure why I still have them. I haven’t read them, or looked at them in well over a year. 

It nice to know that I am not the only one. That's been holding unto them that is
Female BS, D-day 1/03/2017, 
I'm going to rebuild me like a remix,

and raise my soul like a Phoenix 
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Trinity
arizons
 
 

arizons

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BS - DDay July 2017

O GOD, take me, break me, make me. 
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arizons
Trinityarizons wrote:
arizons
 
 

arizons

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Thanks. :-)

I'm proud of you for deleting that number too. I have never been one to hold on to such things but found it was so hard for me to get rid of it.
Female BS, D-day 1/03/2017, 
I'm going to rebuild me like a remix,

and raise my soul like a Phoenix 
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MITM
Avellino1 wrote:
I found out about my husbands affair when the  OW put through  my letter box a very detailed letter about how long they had been seeing each other. Hotels they had stayed in, that she had been in my house whilst I was at work etc etc.  She included copies of text messages they had sent each other and photos of them together.  I have read the letter so many times, looked at the photos so many times..  Yes I no longer fall to pieces and two years later we are still together.  However despite being advised to get rid off it all, I find that I cannot but I cannot explain why...

Personally I'd be inclined to perform a ceremonial burning of it by throwing it on the barbecue, but that's just me.
Male BS
D-Day Jan 2018
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arizons
MattInTheMountains wrote:

Personally I'd be inclined to perform a ceremonial burning of it by throwing it on the barbecue, but that's just me.

😁That's ok. I put my wedding ring in a coffin and burred it in the back yard.
Female BS, D-day 1/03/2017, 
I'm going to rebuild me like a remix,

and raise my soul like a Phoenix 
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MITM
arizons wrote:

😁That's ok. I put my wedding ring in a coffin and burred it in the back yard.

Wow. Mine's just riding around in my wallet, for now. At some point fairly soon I'm going to have to ask my WS for her ring back. It was my mother's wedding ring.
Male BS
D-Day Jan 2018
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arizons
MattInTheMountains wrote:

Wow. Mine's just riding around in my wallet, for now. At some point fairly soon I'm going to have to ask my WS for her ring back. It was my mother's wedding ring, and the way I look at it, it's supposed to be an honour for her to be wearing it. I feel like she's not only dishonouring me but my family as well. Probably very silly - it's only a thin metal ring - but it's also a family heirloom, and it matters.

I can completely understand why you would want it back. Should you ask her for it... I hope that she has the decency to give it back to you without any issues
Female BS, D-day 1/03/2017, 
I'm going to rebuild me like a remix,

and raise my soul like a Phoenix 
Quote 0 0
MITM
arizons wrote:

I can completely understand why you would want it back. Should you ask her for it... I hope that she has the decency to give it back to you without any issues

Probably she would, yes. Curiously, she hasn't it offered it back on her own.
Male BS
D-Day Jan 2018
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