I also agree there should be VERY compelling reasons to stay. In my case, in was not primarily about our grown daughter but she DEFINITELY was a factor. I had a WH who had actually been a very good and loving spouse most of our lives together who appeared to have really, really lost his way amid grief over his father's passing and being separated (not living together) for close to two years (because of work) who was VERY FOCUSED on reconciliation. Did he do everything perfectly, NO. But he was trying very, very hard and getting better at it every day.
I am STILL amazed that I did stay and that we enjoy such a happy marriage today. But i guarantee you that I nearly left about 100,000 times in the first 18 months or so - and would have if he hadn't worked SO HARD to show he was working on himself and 100% present to help heal me. As pro-reconciliation as I might seem to some - I am really not. I am pro-reconciliation when it is GOOD for both parties involved. In my case, it was worth it. It a LOTTTTTT of cases, it isn't. Two years is a long time. By now you should have seen some fairly profound changes in your husband and in your marriage If you don't - or they aren't enough - or you've just realized it won't ever be the relationship you want at this stage in your life - let it go. You tried. Take comfort in that and build the life you want. it is 100% true. You don't owe him anything. And without a doubt, you do not owe him the rest of your life. The only person you OWE right now is you. To look into your heart and figure out what you genuinely want (given where you are now) - and then take steps to make that happen.
BS - Female
Married 27 years, one adult child DD May 2016 “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - V Frankl