I’m gonna try to summarize my story.. But I’m sinking and I need advice. I’m 47, I have a 28yr old son with severe cerebral palsy, A 25 Yr old daughter with 2 grandkids 6 and 4.. currently separated from my 2nd Husband of 8 yrs.. We were in separate bedrooms the last 3 yrs of our marriage. The last 8 months I was there I stayed strictly in my bedroom only to come out to care for my son or to the bathroom. We did not speak if I come out of my room it was huge fight. He was jealous of anyone I associated with..My Dad, Family, Work, people I worked with.. My Grandkids and kids.. so Nov 2018 a guy I had went to HS with started just catching up with me on FB.. we had known each other for years but it was just how are you.. Then it was almost I bet my life is worse than yours competition. He was married in a relationship his wife had cheated and they were roommates. By April we had feelings and this is where there was no communication between my husband and I.. I’m in Ga and the Guy in Ky.. We text at least 16 hrs a day.. Talked on my lunch break.. He told me in June he loved me.. July I start making trips home to see him at least once a month. Sometimes twice. He kept saying once he got things financially in order and her in a place she wouldn’t struggle he was moving to me. Everytime they had a blowup he would say he’s coming then change his mind.. He was so good to me.. I never believed in true love or soulmates until him. I moved out in to my own place in January. Much happier!!! In March I had a miscarriage.. Here I was all alone I told him first that I was pregnant.. He was happy I was like omg I’m 47 what will I do? It was twins😳😳he kept saying it will be fine.. He was retired .. He said I’ll stay home take care of the kids you keep working we got this.. I miscarried I was still alone told only him. I never thought I would have such a hard time with a miscarriage especially a pregnancy that wasn’t even planned. But I was really struggling I felt I had failed them. I had failed him.. I tried telling him and he was sympathetic, supportive.. checked on me all day every day.. End of April they had a huge fight.. He moves out to his sisters.. She cut his bank card off so he goes to the bank gets money for me to rent a uhaul.. This is on a Friday. The size he needed wouldn’t be in til Tuesday.. I had decorated my house to his liking.. I had bought him stuff to have here.. Went to the grocery store had the food he liked.. On Sunday I get a text. He’s scared and didn’t want to move to Ga. He hated it at his sister. And IF he had to go home he didn’t want to hurt me anymore. My daughter had his picture put on a blanket she had me made for Mother’s Day.. She asked him to make sure he said I was his forever?? So in 12 hrs he changed his mind. my daughter was livid. Puts a bug in the wife’s ear. she calls me and I was acting stupid until she told me he had been back home for 2 days.. And then I just said ask I have no lies to tell.. She goes wakes him up and She ask again. She ask him was it true. he said yes. she hangs up. I get a call from him at 11 that night saying he loved her and had told me that??? No he didn’t!!! but for me to stay away.. I have been devastated.. I feel on the verge of a mental breakdown. He was so good to me. How can you turn so fast. that was 3 weeks ago. I get nasty messages from some anonymous person saying it’s her friend. They are horrible... Last night one of her friends started and I said to the friend stop or I will blow this all out of the water.. I have the Craig’s list sex adds his wife did.. I will show all. in seconds her phone and his was calling me.. I ignored. Then finally I sent the messages I had been getting and they both said it was not her.. It had to be who else would care to take time or care daily. And the wife wants my pregnancy records because NOW I’m a liar... In 3 weeks im on anti depressants, anxiety med and sleeping med.. I will get my records but just for him. So they can’t say I lied.. He has BROKE me!! And I don’t know which direction to go to even start to fix me again. I have an appointment wed with a therapist.. for 18 months I relied on this man.. Loved him with everything I had.. He supported me thru solitary confinement, a miscarriage with his babies, he helped name them.. And in a blink of an eye the woman he called vial names and said was so horrible and that he now the love of his life and I’m nobody.. just a liar??? How can you go from talking to someone 16 hrs a day for almost 2 yrs to nothing and not miss them?
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Cheaters lie, never believe the our relationship is horrible story until the divorce is final. 

Female BS
Married 19 years 
2 tween girls

DDay 10/2019 
Affair 1, 11/2010 to 2/2011
Affair 2, 6/2019 to 12/2019 - Persistent One is still trying to contact him. 

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Cheaters often live dual lives. Each person gets fed the story that will make them more likely to stay. He has no loyalty to anyone other than himself. Clearly he has lied to you and used you. He likely sensed your weaknesses and went for it, and you readily shared with him. 

He lied. A lot. That is the only explanation you will ever likely get. 
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I have learned he did lie to me and his wife.. Even when he was coming clean to her he lied. She called me because for some reason he decided to tell her he lied and wanted to be truthful lol.. I feel bad for her. I told her I had many many text I would send her. But I decided not to because I’m hurt, I’m sure she was hurt and those would just hurt her more. I finally spoke with him. he was dry but not mean. Asked me to help him with the wife and to tell her I wouldn’t contact him again.. and to tell her he yelled and screamed at me.Said he was trying to save me from her wrath. I told him he knew I told the truth about everything and he agreed.. . I cut contact with both. she asked for my medical records from the miscarriage I sent them to him and he told her he hadn’t got anything. I then sent them to her and blocked them both from everything. I’m still so hurt but as always it’s left up to me to pick up the pieces and move on.. 
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