Sue
My husband had an affair which I discovered 6 montha ago. We are working on our marriage and it has improved. I continue to struggle with trust, triggers and if I should stay. I have checked his online history which is always showing a history of porn sites. It's done when he comes home at lunch (alone) or any other time he is home alone.
I have questioned him about it and he tells me it's not a big deal and every man does it or he's just goofing around. I feel hurt by his actions, especially since he seems to keep it secret. I hate the computer and his phone which brings up a lot of triggers. I feel I am constantly making an effort to work/improve our marriage and the free time he has us used looking at porn! I want to address with him again but dislike his defensive attitude and how I'm told I as much overreacting.  Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.  Thank you
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Jennifer
Sue,

Porn use can be normal but it make sense that seeing this would be triggering for you in light of his past actions. I think it is important for him to be able to respect how you are feeling at this point. Couples should have conversations about porn use and how much they are comfortable with their partners using porn especially after infidelity.

If he is not willing to respect your wishes about this then you will need to decide if you are okay with this and if not, then what that means for you moving forward in the relationship.

You are fully justified in having this conversation and having your feelings heard and discussed.
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