I had to talk sense into him.  Like not in a mean way, but in a look at the picture kind of way.  These were the things that I noticed that were not good, and I pointed those things out to him.
1. Abandonment of our children to entertain his lover.
2. He would have to pay child support to his lover (she's twenty five and doesn't believe in birthcontrol)
3. His lover lives in another state.
4. His lover has a foul mouth (I saw his texts to and from her)
5. Dishonest reputation
6. The fact that 75% of affair marriages fail
7. She is a risky woman in general.  She would probably want to leave him easily.
8. She is not "educated."  Not to say education prevents affairs, but that her lack of education may annoy him eventually.
9. The lover has no compassion for the mother of our children (some mistresses are surprisingly a nice friend)
10. Her bad habits would be very expensive.....smoking, drinking etc.

Husband says he is done with affair partner.  I have to see if his word follows.
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First off, welcome, although I wish you didn't need to be here. I'm a BS as well. My wife and I are 15 months out from D-day. I agree with you, watch for actions. Words have no value, at least not until they prove that they do. I hope he sticks with his words. Sadly, logic seems to be in short supply when it comes to people having affairs. I wish you luck!
Male BS, D-day July 2015, trying to stay out of the dark.....
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