canadien2499
Hello there Guys;
So, this is a curious topic for me as my wife is starting to open up; and give details regarding why and how she fell in love with her affair partner.

She says that he was kind of a gate away from daily stress of family life and job; they would simply talk about other things and support each other.

My wife says she got attached and in love when I was sarcastic and made him sit next to her in Theatre and I sat next to his wife; for me this was just a joke while she though this was some kind of romantic gesture;

Overtime thinking that he was just a family friend we confided family issues and secrets; we made a lots of trips in the last three years with his family; the more involved we got with his family the more my wife says she fell in love with him.

 Now, after the discovery day I have completely cut off his family and I am paying more attention to my wife to try to understand what went wrong;

What I learned is keep guys away from my wife especially the helping kind because my wife it seems has a very tender heart; How would you guys move forward in this situation?

My wife says that she will not introduce any of her work colleagues to me because of what happened; She says I used her friends to become social as I have no friends of mine; this remark is being used as a gaslighting effect; how would u respond to her in this situation?

How would you asses her reaction and how she took a favor as a anchor for love? Is this wrong that I did?
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UrbanExplorer
I don't know how long she has been out of the affair, but she might not be seeing it clearly yet and is thus still putting unearned blame on you (this theater thing is nonsense). I think this is the real answer:


She says that he was kind of a gate away from daily stress of family life and job; they would simply talk about other things and support each other. 


This is how many affairs start, with commiseration and escape. If someone asked me when I crossed a line and got into an affair, it would be the moment I told my former AP (who was then just a friendly acquaintance) that my husband didn't really see me or pay attention to me or feel proud of me. It wasn't the romantic or physical stuff that came later. I opened the door with those words.

A major key to recovery and affair-proofing your life is to learn how to face real life with bravery and honesty and grow through healthy endeavors instead of sneaking around.
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