We had a couple of sessions of joint counselling. They were bad and worse than none. And this was a counsellor recommended by my IC, who was quite good!
I am still interested in some good joint counselling as I feel our communication is still not right; we are either just skimming the surface or fighting. We are not having a good in depth discussion except about very safe subjects. There is stuff I need to say (presumably stuff she needs to say too) that needs a third party to moderate it. But I am pretty sure we won't do it because I feel the risk of bad sessions is too high. I tend to think there is less risk of bad counselling with separate IC for each of you. Thinking about it, it would be a much simpler job for the counsellor. Someone who can handle two people at once fairly and sensibly and actually get them somewhere would be fairly rare. And of course it's not like people leave reviews very often. I have read some good stuff about marriage retreats and the like. I think they might be a safer bet, but I imagine they are not cheap.
Maybe it is okay, maybe it will be okay.
BS, d-day Feb 2017, 16 mth affair.