newmom
I am 4 months out from dday. My husband cheated on me with his co-worker while I was on maternity leave with our newborn. The OW is his co-teacher and while I found out the first day of school, he is stuck in this toxic work environment through the end of the school year where he will hopefully switch schools (what I want; he will push for just classrooms). i think the biggest problem with making progress is the fact that he sees her every day, and that brings a huge dose of pain/bitterness/anger when he comes home. We are in MC and it is helping.  I couldn't stand being a few feet from him in the beginning, but we are getting better at "hanging out".  He has been sleeping on the couch since this happened.  Our MC "homework" is hugging, which we have done a few times and we kissed on NYE for a brief moment, which was also our anniversary. Nothing else. No other physical interaction. I don't even know where to begin. He has damaged so much of my self-esteem and feeling of femininity (especially since the affair happened post-baby where I think most women should embrace feeling a new sense of femininity). 

My question is how did you reconnect physically? I know some couples are able to go straight into sex and physical stuff quickly while emotionally disconnected, but I just can't even wrap my mind around embracing him, let alone more. I think I will constantly think about what they did with each other and keep comparing what they did/felt.

For the BSs that couldn't stand being close to their WSs, how did you build this back?

I feel like it should be 100% on him to make the move, and I will decide if I want to react positively or negatively. I have said this in MC, but I think he is too frozen/scared to do it. 
 
I know the longer we keep this up, the more normal it become and stifles our ability to recover. 
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Dirazz
Newmom I totally understand those feelings. I had to bring myself back to why I feel in love with my husband. Also it helped that he is truly remorseful for what he did and up until his betrayal he was a great attentive husband. And even during his 2 month betrayal. But once I made up my mind that our marriage was worth saving I put my mindset to when we first fell in love. Pretty soon those feelings came back and we were able to re connect emotionally and then physically. It took a few weeks but after that we were able to deal with our issues without angry. Also a lot of prayer. Things are so much better.
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