Its true, I came to terms very early a few days after D-day that I would never get all of the details or truth out of him...so I came to the conclusion to if I could imagine that it could or did happen...it was likely that it did happen. As far as the sex part....that's all I needed to know...I didn't need to know the where, how, position...etc etc....and just excepted that the worse senerio that my mind could come up with was a real possibility that they did...such and so fourth.
I have forgiven my Husband but I still do not trust him and really don'y know if I will or can again...and that I also have to accept..... At least in my case, no good ever came out of talking with the ex-ap...but then again...she is a crazy stalker. You may have a different experience...so, only you can make the choice on weather to contact her or not. Only you can decided that contact with her may or may not help with your healing... but it might do more harm then good.
Female BS, D-day 1/03/2017, I'm going to rebuild me like a remix,
and raise my soul like a Phoenix