My WS (H) had a 2-year emotional affair which started to turn physical 8 months before Dday with a mutual friend. Since Dday he has been very open and honest- lets me check his phone/email/FB etc. anytime. He is honest about seeing her at work (as they work together and he cannot change jobs at this time) and what if any conversations he has.
He has not yet officially ended things with her- he says she will "figure it out" when he isn't "calling, texting, emailing" over these past 10 months since Dday. He says he wants Me and that he is incredibly sorry for ever getting involved with her in the first place. He has told me that he knows he acted in a very selfish manner and has been reflecting on his behavior since discovery. He knows now that HE pushed ME away and regrets it.
I've been telling him that she will start trying to contact him again once she thinks things have settled down, and he has said he didn't believe so. So now... She has recently started to text and email him again- and he hasn't responded. He has told me that he is starting to see what I have been saying all along, has agreed to "officially" end it- and has told me he wants me to be a witness when it happens (however he does it).
How do I know that he is truly "getting" it and not just trying to pull the wool over my eyes again? I want to believe him....and trust him..... but after what I have been through, my guard is up and I just can't. He tells me he understands that I don't trust him and that it will take a long time to get there...IF I ever get there. He has done so much hard work trying to make things "good" again between us. I feel somewhat guilty for not trusting that this is real. Has anyone else ever experienced this- and if so- how did you know that you were ready to take the risk of trusting again?