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Heidi
For the first few weeks after d day my nightmare was waking up. It was like Groundhog Day everyday. I'd open my eyes and the realisation would hit me. I'd remember his betrayal, and the anxiety would take over, causing a massive panic attack. It got so I was too afraid to go to sleep, knowing if I did, I'd wake up to the pain.

I've had a few nightmares since, but honestly nothing that compares to those first weeks. I was practically a walking zombie back then.
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Valntine66
I asked my doctor on a followup regarding the anti depressants i was taking if the dreams were a result of my medication, he said they were not but a psychiatrist would know more.  I did talk with a psychiatrist over a month ago on an assesment appointment, she said that it depends since emotions are high (or low) and does affect our dreams.  I have been off the meds and still have the dreams.  in the beginning, i was not sleeping well.  i took Benadryl to help but then my body got used to the one pill, i upped it to 2, eventually i took 4 at one time (dont do that).  Now, the dreams wake me up almost hourly.  my sister-in-law who is a dr and my other sister-in-law who is a pharmacist suggested meletonin so that my body will eventually create its own meletonin.

Like you Heidi, there are times i dont want to sleep because of the dreams.  but if i dont, i too am a walking zombie.
Val
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Heidi
That sounds very debilitating. Usually our sleep gives us a chance to re energize as well as make sense of the day. It sounds as though you may be waking up more exhausted than when you went to sleep. It's a shame you're not getting the help you need from the medical profession.

I hope these dreams improve soon. No real advice but hoping someone else may come along with some ideas for you.
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Dirazz
Mine was the same as you Heidi. Upon waking up there were 1 or 2 seconds when I first opened my eyes when I forgot what was going on. Then bam it would hit me smack in the face! And I woke up from mine this morning full of anxiety. It took a few hours to settle down.
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UrbanExplorer
It might sound weird because I am a WS, but I had the exact same few seconds of peace followed by realization and dread every single morning.
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Dirazz
It's not weird Urban. I believe ALL of us are going through trama during this whole thing.
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Valntine66
I am the WS. March of 2015, before my affair, my family took a cruse on the Disney cruse line in Florida. It was our first time ever on a cruise and first time ever enjoying a vacation such like this. The cruse was incomparable, unexplainable, and unimaginable (in the good sense). Even when we docked ready to disembark the boat, we were still spoiled with the service, the kindness, and the service. When we went through customs, again, we felt at ease. It's when we boarded the bus to head back to the airport, the bus driver said, "Welcome back to reality. We hope you enjoyed your cruise."

Waking up from the dreams is the same thing, whether they are good or a nightmare (mainly for me, nightmares), waking up from them in that 2 to 3 seconds, reality hits hard and it is sometimes hard to comedown from the emotional state the dream imposed. My BS does not share with me her dreams and I understand that. I occasionally will share the type of dreams I have (nightmares, pleasant, or neutral) for she does not want to hear details. Her response is occasionally, "Oh" or "hmm" and once in a while, "did you tell pastor?" I'm just waiting for them to stop so that I know the healing is done. I'm not holding my breath for this.
Val
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