Good morning all - My life is falling apart. I dont know how to cope with this.
Me emotions are all over. Am angry, hurt, confused and when i see him i just want him to hold me.
My husband has been working away for 2 years. He moved down to our town. He told me my daughter (17) on the 1 September that he met someone and she must meet this lady......and she must tell me!!! She moved down with him.
That evening my daughter told me. I was calm, but as i went to my room my whole life shattered and all the hurt anger and shock came out. I couldnt stop crying. My body was shaking and it was just so unreal what was happening. How could he!! i wouldve never ever think he would do something like this. he was such a dedicated husband and father
Now 3 weeks later she left him going back to her husband!. "Yes she is also married.
She is 2 years younger than me, but looks older. Im much prettier than her but im more overweight. She had blond hair and now that they moved down she went and cut her hair and color her hair like mine.
My husband came drunk to my house and cried. He said it is over, but still loves her. He then stayed over for 2 nights. It was awesome to have him at home again. We went to town together, shopping, braai and potjie.
So you can imagine what happened. Husband was all for this other woman and he left the house again saying that he will never ever come together again. It is over. He is confused, hurt and does not know what to do. As he spoke to my daughter last night he was crying.
He is selfish, only thinking of his hurt, but what about me and my children. How i found out through my daughter. I still love him, i dont want to anymore.
HOW CAN I STOP this feelings. how do i cope and accept this. how can i go on with my life. And please dont tell me to go out and get someone. im not a person that goes out do parties or dancing as im to shy and self contious about my weight.
How do i release him. how do i stop thinking of him. how do i stop looking at my cell phone and his number.
For example: my car didnt want to start this morning and i started walking to work. +- 4 - 5 kilos. My youngest daughter sms's him and he came and picked me up next to road. I didnt want to see him. I dont want him to help me. He said to me he still cares and will always be there. He will sort out car.
NOOOOOOOO!!!!! he is choosing another woman, how can he say he still cares. How can he???
Please give me advise. Im all over and not good for myself and my daughter. Please help me to cope and what to do. How do i switch off my emotions, the hurt, the confusion, the love, the pain. Some days i just want to end everything because the feelings are just to overwellming.
You going to think im stupid, pathetic(my daughter already tells me that) but he has nothing to offer us. He has no job, no income, no house, his health is not the way it supposed to be. He drinks and smoke. He is drunk everynight. (passes out early in evenings)
AGAIN!!!!! WHY AM I FEELING THIS WAY. Now that im writing this email, the answers is there CLEAR to me. Im an idiot. You dont need this man. he has nothing to offer you. He not even giving you love that you deserve but loves another and he is selfish, do not care for his child or you.
How am i going to go forward with these emotions that i dont have no control over. It feels im in this body and i just see him. I want to feel him. i love him. I dont want him to choose this other woman. How can he? How can he leave 28 years of marriage behind.
The last 3 days he has been at my house, eating by us and sleeping over. Again, saying he misses the OW. He has no regrets, still saying he cares for me and loves me...but wishes the OW is back. Again, my emotions, feelings, im empty and feel like dying. Why am i hurting so much? Why cant i just tell me to go away and leave me alone?
help me please!!!!