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GingerHoneyBunny
Kiki wrote:
Wow lunch?!!!! 
I could never do that.  I too hate the OW.  I have also thought about revenge and how I could ruin her. But I do believe in Karma, and punishment from God.
After my first D day, I threatened to email each person of her firm (CEO of her own company), I made her remove my H’s testimonial off of her website, and his company name.  I never emailed anyone, but she took the initiative to tell each person that worked for her about the affair (My WH’s company is a very large client ).  In the past year, she has lost 5 of her best employees. Just recently, she lost her partner who was my H’s company liaison.  

She also had had to tell her son to remove my H as a friend on FB.  I found my picture with my daughter and my H on her son’s FB.  I am sure that was not easy for a mother to explain. I feel sorry for her sons.

So, my point is, eventually the universe will give them what they deserve. We don’t have to do anything.
I am waiting to see what my H receives. They are together now, living in fantasy land. Our children hate her as much as I do, so I have no idea how my H thinks he will have any kind of relationship with the girls.  But that is no longer my concern.

I also have to stop checking her website, stop obsessing over her.  She is trash and not worth my energy!! I have to make a conscious effort to not give her any more power.


Yeah, I did not want to live my life hating the guy. I'm already feeling hate towards my WW which is really not helping in feeling any love for her. I still really want the divorce if not for the kids. But, we all should not live in hatred. It's good to know you can move forward. You deserve better. Even until today, I am good if they still want to be together  That would just give me the way out and get the divorce I want cos I think I deserve better. 
Male BS, D-Day 22th September 2017.
Probably a 10 to 12 month affair (I think, cause no one seems to remember anything!) 
Bleeding heart...
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Trinity
I believe that the universe gives people what they deserve which is why being a BS I always try and come from a place of understanding and love.  Even if I can only muster up a tiny piece.  It's so easy to go to anger and hatred but that rarely gets us anywhere and it surely does not help in rebuilding anything.

GHB - I'm not sure if I could meet with the OW and I don't thinnk it would have been beneficial to my situation at all.   However, she seems kind of nice in her FB profile.  (Which I finally stopped checking)  LOL   Even though she was looking for a Father for her 10yr old son, I guess that is what mid aged single women do.  Who am I to judge.  

"T"
BS - DDay July 2017

O GOD, take me, break me, make me. 
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Kiki
I am trying to get rid of this anger and hatred. 
I do not want to live with these feelings. 
It is so hard though when someone knowingly destroys lives and relationships.
This will take time for all of us, but it is my ultimate goal. 
I want to be in a place where my WH or his AP have any effect on me at all.
I want them to be powerless over me.
D-Day#1 Dec 19, 2017
D-Day#2 Jan 13, 2018
5 year “on/off affair”
Separated

Married 25 years, together 35
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ThrivenotSurvive
I could not agree more Kiki.  I don’t want to live with those feelings in my heart either - and it is really hard when it seems to be so calculated.  

But trying to find the ways to move through it and past it - is a gift we give ourselves - not them. It is so our hearts can feel light and optimistic again, rather than burdened by suspicion, anger and disillusionment.

I’d say most days I am doing a pretty darn good job of it, but then a set back.  So I dust myself off and go back at it - because the winner in that battle is me.  
BS - Female
Married 27 years, one adult child
DD May 2016

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - V Frankl
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Bigmama
Kiki,
I agree fully with what you said.  It makes me physically sick at my stomach some days when she pops in my head. I don't want her there....at all.  She is NOT part of my/our future and only a small part of our past.  It just infuriates me that,after three years, she is in my head at all!! I KNOW that she is a miserable person.  Her only child has moved out of state to get away from her.  She is estranged from her only sibling because of her irrational behavior.  Her extended family avoids her at all costs because of the drama that surrounds her (at her own doing).  She has a love for dating married men. My husband was NOT the first and certainly will not be the last!  It's all a game to her...one that she wants to WIN!!  And every time my WH would leave and go back to her (yo-yo) she would welcome him each time with open thighs.  She is a wart on society and I want to stop hating her and I want her GONE from my mind!!!
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Hayley47
As a former OW trust me she did suffer. Immensely infact. She probably loved him and was heartbroken. I’m not excusing her actions she was wrong but trust me, please don’t think for one minute she walked away without a care in the world. It probably took her a very long time to stop hurting, start loving herself again and on top the guilt and shame of it all. 
So trust me.. she’s ‘paid’ for what she did.. more than you’ll probably ever realise. 
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Kiki
How does she suffer when he leaves his wife and children to be with her??She got everything she wanted. Everything she set out for. Even when we were trying to reconcile she never stopped contacting him. Crying about her company and how she ended up with nothing for show her time invested with him. She didn’t care who got hurt. She is as selfish as he is. 
When does she pay?
D-Day#1 Dec 19, 2017
D-Day#2 Jan 13, 2018
5 year “on/off affair”
Separated

Married 25 years, together 35
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Trinity
Kiki wrote:
When does she pay?


She will get what she deserves but you will have to give it up so that she can receive it.  If you keep her in your mind she stays in your life (so to speak) and it gives no room for the universe to work it out.  You have to give her up and let it go and let the universe do it's thing, I think you will be quite surprised.  Have Faith and Trust.

"T" 
BS - DDay July 2017

O GOD, take me, break me, make me. 
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arizons
my husbands AP stalked my facebook page and likely still tries too. But I only make public what I want her to see. 99.9% of my posts are friends only and she can't see them. But every sweet new picture of my husband and I going on trips, huging, a kiss...being happy...I make those public... I know it likely eats her up inside. I call it the "FACEBOOK MIND-F**K
Female BS, D-day 1/03/2017, 
I'm going to rebuild me like a remix,

and raise my soul like a Phoenix 
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Kiki
Love that!! 
D-Day#1 Dec 19, 2017
D-Day#2 Jan 13, 2018
5 year “on/off affair”
Separated

Married 25 years, together 35
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Heartbroken
ME personally, I don't know what I believe anymore when it comes to Karma and the universe. I do know though that I hate the OW with a passion.  I understand that she is not totally at fault and it takes two to do the horizontal rumba, however all that was required of her was one simple word "NO" and it would not have happened.  I have dreamt so many times of being able to humiliate her in front of her friends and family and destroy her in ways that many of you would probably like to do as well, but what would it achieve....nothing.  For someone like her who has the morals and integrity of the devil nothing would phase her or stop her from destroying another family.   So I just go along with my life with my husband day by day.  He will never forget what he did because I will never let him.  I will never forget what he did because the pain is etched in my heart forever.  I will never trust him or another human being with my life again.  

May she burn in hell for what she did.  Me on the other hand I will continue my life as if she doesn't exist, because one day reality is she won't exist anymore...in my life or anyone else's. 
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MC
Karilee wrote:
I completely understand hating the OW.  I think the best revenge advice is honestly to live well.  Sounds cliché but so true.  Your best revenge is to not give her the time of day or the satisfaction of knowing she has such an impact on you. 


Wow, I really relate to this.  My IC told me this exact thing. 

Another benefit of not exacting revenge is that the AP doesn't know what to expect from me as a BS.  The AP in my situation is a narcissistic control freak.  The best revenge I can exact is to be a gray rock towards him and hold all the cards.  I pay him zero attention.  Utter apathy.  If I play my hand he feels important and the next move is his.  As of now, he sees my wife and I rather frequently because our circles overlap.  He sees us smiling laughing and really enjoying each other.  Neither of us pay him an ounce of attention.  And I have not acted towards him one bit.  I like to think in his eyes I am just one very satisfied husband with an incredible marriage.  But at the same time I am also a grenade in his world, just the pull of a pin away from destroying him.

A happy smiling grenade with a finger on the pin.

________________
Male BS
D-Day 3.15.2017


Taking care of myself, as we all deserve to do.
Encouraging all to bolster their: Emotional Health, Physical Health and Spiritual Health
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