I completely understand hating the OW. I think the best revenge advice is honestly to live well. Sounds cliché but so true. Your best revenge is to not give her the time of day or the satisfaction of knowing she has such an impact on you. I have envisioned humiliating or smacking the crap out of the OW, and that usually ends with me laughing and feeling like I just got revenge, even though just in fantasy! I have blocked the OW on FB so she can't see mine and I can't see hers. My H and I are still separated and I feel like she will never ever go away, therefore, she is on my mind a lot. I think what helps stopping the hate of the OW is how your H handles it and if he has truly gotten her out of his system/out of his life. You find your own peace but he is a huge part of helping with that. Reassurance, openness, transparency, true remorse. I know the OW is insecure though. Don't ever think they are living completely happy and acting like they "won" or have something over you. They are miserable, lonely, desperate, and insecure. They may act like they're not, but obviously something is missing from their lives. I had hoped the OW would be miserable and lonely, but then thought that's too dangerous so instead now hope for her to find someone UNmarried who she falls madly in love with and finds her own peace, then she won't wreck anyone else's life anymore. I hope for her to move on and be happy. I don't think they ever disappear completely from your mind, but the anger will subside eventually. When those feelings are strong talk yourself through them and know you are a better person than her, and that she is suffering worse being lost in her life.
Female BS, two kids age 10 & 13
Married 16 years, together for 23 years total D Days - Feb 2013, June 2015 and Sept 2017 All with the same OW Separated