I just read this:
"As a psychologist, my sister Sharron would employ a metaphor about engaging grief which has stayed with me. For someone in mourning, approaching grief can be like moving towards an enormous, dark, cold lake. Not knowing how deep or cold it may be, the griever tries to go around the lake without getting in it. But the lake turns out not to be a lake at all, but rather an endless river. Trying to circumvent this body of water, the griever gets lost in weeds and bramble, straying ever farther from their path. Eventually, they have to get in the lake of grief and swim in its depths, unless they want to remain lost."
Maybe it is okay, maybe it will be okay.
BS, d-day Feb 2017, 16 mth affair.