Shayla
I haven't been around much this last week, because my husband took a vacation from work. We had planned it before the latest affair was discovered. I was really nervous about his week off. I didn't know what to expect, but it turned out to be really good. We enjoyed to time with our kids and with each other.

I decided ahead of time that I wouldn't bring up our issues for the week, but I did ask my husband if we could talk on our normal counseling day, since we wouldn't be going and he agreed. There were a lot of little things that made it a good week, but the thing that stands out to me the most was Tuesday night. My husband couldn't sleep, his tossing and turning woke me up about 2 am. I asked him what was wrong and he said he couldn't sleep, I asked him if he needed to talk and he said no, he just couldn't shut his mind off. Then he asked me if I would get up and watch TV with him, so we watched TV for about an hour and went back to bed. I prayed for him to have peace and to get some rest. I went back to sleep feeling a little encouraged, even though he didn't really talk to me about what was bothering him, he wanted me near him, while he was hurting. The next day was the day we had set aside to talk, and he did, he opened up and told me why he couldn't sleep and let me see that his actions have affected him. This was a big deal to me because he is so good at acting like nothing ever bothers him and not showing feelings. I thanked him for his honesty and told him it helped me to hear how he was feeling. That I don't want him suffering and not being able to sleep, but that it's good for me to know that this does affect him. I also told him any time he can't sleep to wake me up, if he wants to talk, that he doesn't have to suffer alone, I'm his partner and that his one of the reasons he has me.



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TimT
I love so much about this, Shayla. The step your husband took in admitting this to you was probably a big step for him. And although you certainly want more (and maybe even have the right to expect more),you recognized the value of this effort and encouraged him in taking the risk while inviting him to trust you with more. It's beautiful. I hope he recognizes the value of this offer and continues to take small steps into vulnerability. You'll both benefit of he does.

Thank I for sharing this!
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Lpat4
That is a fantastic moment that your husband shared with you. Knowing that they are hurting to somehow makes it seem that you are both on this journey together. My husband sounds very similar. It has been nearly 9 months and I think he hoped that it would all disappear. However if by chance we watch a movie that involves someone cheating it makes him think about what he did and could have lost and it is often during these moments that he will turn to me saying how truly sorry he is. I too don't want to see my husband hurting but knowing that he is upset about the pain he has caused me makes me more willing to commit to the healing process.
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