Hi, I am a WP. Am struggling to explain to my partner and myself why I cheated on her. Far too many whys and far too few answers.
Have been in a committed long term but long distance relationship since 2002. In 2005, mere months after we made love and promised every ounce of fidelity, I started cheating, first emotionally and then in a few months, that became full blown physical emotional everything. It continued for two more years and then ended quite acrimoniously, but the full contours were unknown to my partner. I never revealed and pretended as if nothing was amiss, that it was flirtation and not much else, I am sorry to say that she believed me and I led her on to believe me. I have been faithful to her in every sense since mid 2007.
A few months ago, I did confess to the full extent of the affair. Then a few days afterwards, my partner got hold of all the letters I had written to the AP. To say that she is devastated at the level of my depravity - I "stole" all our songs, our poems, our pillow talk, our lovemaking rituals and "gave them away" to the AP. We are struggling and my partner is devastated, to say the least.
Am wondering if anyone has been in a situation where they betrayed right after the primary relationship has moved into a higher trajectory? I have read of people who cheated when their children were born, when they were expecting their children, during grieving and tragedies. How are you coping? How do you explain this behaviour?
Am hoping to learn and address why. Perhaps I will have some answers.
Thank you for listening.
You may find some anger directed at you from Betrayed Spouses here.
I was in your position too. All I can say is you have some soul searching in front of you to fix this. The only way you will be able to explain it to anyone is if you know why.
It's normal for your wife to feel this way, after all, you betrayed her, right? Now it's up to you to understand what she has gone through, what you did to her, and at the same time work on you so you can guarantee you will never do this again.
You've come to the right place. The WS side here is quiet, but kudos to you for being brave enough to put it out there. I know it had to be hard, and knowing you will be ducking the bricks...