I am not sure if you ever seen of my posts before. But I did get revenge on the OW. I slept with her H. And it didn't make me feel any better. That's finally when she called me to apologize. But her apology meant nothing. She slept with my H. And now my world had been turned up side down. My H dropped her quickly when I found out but it was fizzing out anyways since they had sex in a parking lot before she moved. And according to my H and the OW they flirted casually at work for 3 months and then 2 weeks before she moved out of state with her H it got intense with the flirting. So much that they finally had physical contact the day before she moved which led to them having sex. After he asked she leave him alone. But she continued and than it became a emotional affair if even that. I saw the messages. Very random and my H didn't respond for days. You could tell he was bored. Still though it continued.
By the time I found out I told her H via social media messaging. He was nice and apologetic that his wife took their problems to my marriage. One thing lead to another in our odd new friendship and he called me gorgeous. So I offered an affair of our own if he returned to the state. Based on my pics alone since we never knew each other prior and he drove back 14 hours to see me. And dragged her and their kid with them telling them he just wanted to visit family suddenly. She was happy and sadly when she found out she was hurt that the trip was for me.
I had my revenge but I was still lost and hurt so it didn't help. In a weird way him calling sexy, beautiful and gorgeous fed my own destroyed ego. Even though his wife is not hideous she is not someone I would look at twice. And I was shocked my H chose her. Anyways, I wish I was more like Dirazz In this forum.
I wish I should have realized my H chose me. And even when I found out and the OW kept trying to contact him he stuck to the NC rule. He has been really trying. My pain and hurt is what's in the way. I wish I had this forum prior to my own revenge. I wish I took the higher road and didn't give the Ow a second thought to even want to crush her. :/
I did see your posts but my revenge was focused more on the part of the husband leaving to live with her and then pretty much seducing them back if it makes sense? Not like it would work if they are in the fog but you never know. That might hurt the OW. I don't know if I could ever cheat to retaliate but I have has opportunities plenty of times sober and drunk and have always been loyal. My husbands OW is also delusional but it's based on the lies my husband told her. According to her I got pregnant on purpose to keep him and pretty much raped him lol I find that one comical, I was on BC and because in was on antibiotics I even took the day after pill but none of it worked. When God has a plan it just happens. I. Her mind my husband told her he was in the process of divorcing me but I had no idea and who knows what else he told her but she is mean and they are a till continuing thier affair. My husband works out of town near her but he has lied to many people and involved many people in his lies. It takes time to heal but I'm doing it alone for me and the 3 kids and the one on the way. I don't know if he will ever come around but in the end Karma will get them both, although I know my husband has deeper issues that never included her. Even though he claims she makes him happy I know it's unsure because he has resorted to using some hardcore drugs and drinking to forget his pains. I have told him if someone makes you happy there is no need to do that as the high of being in love will do that alone. He is so fogged that he doesn't understand or know what he is doing. In one of my previous posts I expressed how I thanked him for loving me genuinely with out the lies and fakness. I also thanked him for making me a stronger person.
The healing takes time but I think to myself, would I want him back? Would I let him off easy? I love him with all my heart and take my vows seriously but he needs to get help for himself before I fully let him back in, that is if he stops the affair and doesn't file for divorce, like he has said he wants.
I think we over think things to much but that has to do with our own insecurities but are brought on more by the trauma we have been put through.
This board has helped me in the healing process and so glad to have the perspective from all the members.