Here's the dillemna...
My wife is very controlling. OCD almost. It comes with her way of dealing with issues that she grew up with. I can usually deal, but somethings just get to me sometimes. The problem is, I don't know how to broach this subject, or if I even should right now.
The reason? My affair, and rebuilding and stuff.
Look, it's not deal breaker stuff, but it is annoying.
Let me give you an example...
Today my wife took off to do the grocery shopping. She likes to circle the stuff in the flyers, and it's like a giant treasure hunt getting the stuff. Oh, and it could be stuff that is on sale, but not that we neccessarily need. There isn't much checking on what we have, and there is no real thought process in what we are gonna eat over the next while. It literally is okay, let's shop and filll the fridges and freezers with stuff and go from there.
Okay, my background as a chef, I am content to have like staples, but then 3-4 days worth of stuff in the fridge.
So, it's a little bit of a bother...
Today we were supposed to hit the grocery stores separate, but she ended up doing them all.
And she comes home with all these bags and I'm like... wow.
So, I am trying to help her put the stuff away, and up on one cupboard there are these cookie tins from last christmas. I go to move them, and suddenly its like I am intruding. Why are you moving those? I want those there.
I started to be like, look, we don't need them there, relax, I'm just gonna put them away.
But then I was like, is this what I really want to take a stand on? okay, I put them back.
But, I am stuck here. I want to get to a point where we talk about this stuff and are on the same page. We don't need to buy 2 weeks of grocheries in one day, and I just feel like I am like a spectator, and she has to have the control there or she will melt down.
But, given the precariousness of my situation - trying to reconcile with my wife... do I push it?
So, what is your perspective? I mean, I just want to feel like we are together on this thing, and not like one person has to give up. OTOH, I also understand that for the immediate future I may need to just grin and bear it... but will it be forever? Am I needing to give up a lot in order to make this work?