Negarcia
I have been ashamed at myself. I let my hormones and emotions take me to intimacy level with my husband (it was the best I have had in a long time with him [wink] but he's still involved with the OW. It was my fault as I pursued him because I needed it. He was super loving and even held me after which hasn't happened in a long long time. But then I messed up because I wanted to know if he did it as a favor to me or if he really wanted to be intimste c with me. Of course he told me to stop analyzing and then got upset with me for asking but I felt I had a right to ask. He argued with me and then I went to bed. I want to apologize for asking but I also don't feel like so should. I needed my needs met and I guess I should have just left it alone and not said a word. He gets his needs met when he's with her. He also made a comment to me that he doesn't feel he has a right to ask me of he wants or needs something because of what he is doing. Ughhhhhhhhhh it's so hard but I know it's going to take time. It's my daughters birthday so I'm going to have a great day!

I know I was given this path for a reason, I need to be patient.
Quote 0 0
sunflower07
I never stopped sleeping with my husband when I was doing the 180. He had major complaints about sex in our marriage and I didn't want to continue to withhold from him. I just didn't make it real emotional.

So, don't beat yourself up too much. If your gonna sleep with him, my advice is don't talk about it. Just do it! It's just sex! LOL!
Quote 0 0
Negarcia
sunflower07 wrote:
I never stopped sleeping with my husband when I was doing the 180. He had major complaints about sex in our marriage and I didn't want to continue to withhold from him. I just didn't make it real emotional.

So, don't beat yourself up too much. If your gonna sleep with him, my advice is don't talk about it. Just do it! It's just sex! LOL!


Haaa thank you Sunflower I feel like I failed myself. But of course now I am thinking that is how intimate he gets with her. Ughh it never stops.
Quote 0 0
sunflower07
Negarcia wrote:


Haaa thank you Sunflower I feel like I failed myself. But of course now I am thinking that is how intimate he gets with her. Ughh it never stops.


Well, later I found out that his AP was VERY controlling about the sex and that he wasnt even sleeping with her at the point I was sleeping with him. He just portrayed to me that they were.

Not his best moment!!

It probably isn't as glorious as he is making you think it is especially if he is still with you and willing to be intimate with you. Some men like to rub it in your face. My husband did this to me as he was coming out of the affair fog.

Like I said, not his greatest moment. He has since apologized.
Quote 0 0
Negarcia
sunflower07 wrote:


Well, later I found out that his AP was VERY controlling about the sex and that he wasnt even sleeping with her at the point I was sleeping with him. He just portrayed to me that they were.

Not his best moment!!

It probably isn't as glorious as he is making you think it is especially if he is still with you and willing to be intimate with you. Some men like to rub it in your face. My husband did this to me as he was coming out of the affair fog.

Like I said, not his greatest moment. He has since apologized.


He just told me that it's different and she does things for him I stopped doing In our marriage, I think he is in love with her but is on the fence with his emotions. It's so frusterating to me but patience is what it takes. I think he doesn't want to leave due to the kids but I don't want him to stay for that reason. I know they have sex everything they see each other but it's not as often as I originally thought. I know I was harsh to him and critiqued him at times but he did the same to me. It's Easy to live my life when he is not here but sometimes I need him emotionally and he is so disconnected.
Quote 0 0
azqueenofhearts
Negarcia,
Your his wife. If you need to be held and need intimacy than I say it's your right. Whenever & wherever. Just don't let it bring you down. But in reality she is the OW. You hold the place on the throne until you are actually divorced. Your still the Queen. And don't forget it!
Quote 0 0
Negarcia
azqueenofhearts wrote:
Negarcia,
Your his wife. If you need to be held and need intimacy than I say it's your right. Whenever & wherever. Just don't let it bring you down. But in reality she is the OW. You hold the place on the throne until you are actually divorced. Your still the Queen. And don't forget it!


Azqueenofhearts
Thank you for that. You are sooooo right!
Deep down inside I know that but need reassurance that he won't give me but I know he's not ready. Thank you both for your wonderful comments and confidence.

Thank you
Quote 0 0