Thank you for your response. I know that I still do way too much to make his life comfortable. I just love my son so much and I can't imagine that is father doesn't love him just as much. I want my son to have his father in his life, but I don't understand why his dad make more of an effort for him. Maybe he's trying to sever ties and move on, too, and his cutting his son out because he's a part of me. Or maybe he just expects that I'll always be the one to put forth enough effort for both of us.
His grandparents would take him more, but I have a hard time asking them for so much help. They're my ex's parents. They love my son and me and have been incredibly helpful and supportive since I moved out. It's just sad to me that my ex's parents do more to help me raise our son than he does. I do have a few backup sitters, but I'm trying to give my son as much stability as possible. He's so young and doesn't understand. I can't talk to him and explain. I can only show him that he's loved and provide stability in any way I'm able. He starts to get really bad separation anxiety when he goes to a different sitter every time I go to work.
When you stopped putting forth the effort and taking care of your husband, did he start making an effort and try to be a better father?
It took him a while. He played the victim card a lot but me making the effort made no difference to him. In his eyes he saw it as something he deserved and expected it from me. One day I just said I deserve more than the way he is treating me and litteraly stopped talking to him and separating myself it killed him inside. It was hard for him to admit it but he did. Also the kids wanted nothing to do with him so it hurt him more and then he started to realize everything he was throwing away and missing.
Your son will know you love him no matter what he feels it from you and his grandparents. If they watch him he can go to his parents house to see him right ? Kids also feel our anxiety. It's hard to be relaxed but we have to do ot for us and them.
Don't worry about him anymore, he's the one that needs to prove his love to your son, you can't make him show ur son or make him prove it. He needs to do that and maybe losing him and you might make him realize that.