I am coming up to 10 months since d-day. And nearly two years since my wife "broke up" with me without telling me why, only to then say she would keep trying (while continuing her affair.)
So ten months is pretty early days in this process, I understand, and so I should not be too concerned that I am still re-running things she said and did to me during the affair and after d-day which were horrible, humiliating, and very hard to live with. But you know. Ten months is a short time for rebuilding after an affair. It's a pretty quick time for building a new life as a single person. If she'd been honest and we had separated when she "broke up" with me, soon after the affair started, I would be nearly two years of my life into a different future by now. Having an affair is a sign of a really weak and selfish character. But I sometimes wonder if the weakest and most selfish thing they do is what they do later - when they let us keep trying. The courageous position would be: I've done too much damage, I know you are saying you want to keep trying but the only right thing for me to do is let you go.Are the ones who leave and don't come back ultimately the ones with more backbone?
Maybe it is okay, maybe it will be okay.
BS, d-day Feb 2017, 16 mth affair.