I have had this discussion, and it's left some things a bit unresolved.
My WS (and forgive me, she probably expressed it a little better than this) basically said, "you can't compare how I was with him to how I am with you, because that was a honeymoon period and we are in a mature relationship." My thought was that this made some kind of logical sense, and even if a WS doesn't say this, it is pretty much a given and just another way of describing "the fog". However, it didn't really sit well with me. Where I am at now is... sure, that is logical enough. Honeymoon periods are different. However, I think that the person I spend my life with... her last honeymoon period needs to have been with me, not with someone else. I am pretty sure that is non-negotiable. A normal marriage may well go like... honeymoon period... life's stresses... kids... getting busy... a comfortable but less intense relationship.... etc. But in that context you have a shared journey from the honeymoon period to the present, and you have a clear line-of-sight back to the honeymoon period. With a honeymoon period with someone else intervening, you don't have that shared journey and you don't have a clear line of sight back to it. For me, at the moment, this is pretty much not something I think I can work with. Circumstances require me to sit tight for the moment as we simply have higher life priorities than dealing with relationship issues for the next month or so.
Formerly known as Anthropoidape... male bs, long affair, d-day Feb 2017.