Reese Show full post »
JORGE
By the time my wayward fiance' was clear of the fog, I had just decided to move on. I was just regaining my footing in life and unfortunately for her,  her fog departure coincided with her confession, so any benefit she may have otherwise realized through newfound clarity, was cancelled out. It was quite the night, that cold winters night, just the two of us in an old Irish pub near the capital in Washington D.C., that was just closing for the night and approximately 2-3 weeks before Christmas.

In looking back, the restaurant closing down was symbolic of my engagement shutting down,  as was the time of the year, which was coming to a close. It aligned with my wish to restart the new year with a new self. Each was accomplished, as I broke the engagement right after New Years and met my current wife, 6 months later and became exclusive ironically on July 4th (Liberation).  From that point forward, anytime an unpleasant event happened in my life, I don't assume it's ending will also be unpleasant.
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Reese
Jorge,

How long was your wayward fiance in the fog?
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JORGE
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How long was your wayward fiance in the fog?

Good question and one I can't answer. During her affair, she ghosted me. She didn't answer her phone. After a couple of weeks, I began to get the picture, but was in denial as I would never have thought she'd be unfaithful. So, I stopped calling her to see if she would respond. Nope. It was at this point I accepted the reality and began to mourn what this all meant. I was cheated on by a previous fiance' (yes, twice consecutively) but this one hurt more because we were a better fit. 

Timeline. September 15 thru Oct 15. No contact with me despite my efforts. October 15 through Nov 5 no contact, but calls around Nov 5 to   take my out for me out for my birthday a few days later. Birthday meal is very odd. It's like we're dating for the first time ever and don't know each other. Not even sure why she did it, but I think it's because not doing it would have affirmatively defined where we were, what she was doing and she was unwilling to admit it. I don't recall much aside from the awkwardness of the dinner.

I went to my apartment and she went to hers afterward. I stayed no contact until she called me the 2nd week of December on consecutive days. I was baffled, as I'd moved on in my mind. I kept asking her, why and why now. I wish I could remember her answers, but it was over 20 years ago, and can't. I just remember I kept pressing her on it which I had no problem doing since she'd ghosted/no contacted/180'd me for 3 months, and all of a sudden, "Hi, whatcha doin? I'm like, HUH?????? What do you mean, what am I doing?

Anyway, back to your question. I believe her fog (if one wants to call it that) started mid September when her affair began and ended sometime prior to her call to me the 2nd week of December, as her disposition was entirely different than the tension filled one that occupied our table at my birthday dinner, where she feigned normalcy. In her calls mid December, she was happy, upbeat and seemingly wanting to forget the past three months happened.

I wasn't having it though. She asked for me to come to her apartment and stay like I used to do regularly and I declined multiple opportunities, so she asked to meet at a neutral site midway. I accepted and that's when I grilled her for 2.5 to 3 hours to get the confession. She confessed, cried at the restaurant table and this is when I think she realized what she did, and what it meant. She graduated from law school  that December. I attended the affair her parents gave her and wondered if her AP was there as I didn't recognize everyone and left early. She caught me trying to leave, cornered me outside her apartment and I couldn't look her in the eye. She could feel my detachment.

Nor could I look her in the eyes while at my friends New Years' eve party two weeks later, and that's when I knew we stood no chance. So, her fog encompassed the entirety of her affair I'm assuming, of which I never knew the ending date, but didn't care. I presume she was coming out of it and that's what precipitated the phone calls to me in mid December............or her AP dumped her. I almost wish I could turn back the clock and have a redo, as I'd like some answers to some things, but I don't fret over by any stretch. 

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