My WH asked for a separation in April as he said he didn't feel loved. He said I was too busy with work, school, the house and our son to love him enough. He treated me very cold for several months until I left in June. We sought counseling over the summer and he continued to say how I didn't give him enough attention, that I didn't compliment him enough, that I was always too busy. We discussed why I was too busy, i.e.: he said he believed my 'job' was in the home and to take care of our children. That I should balance my energy so I had more time for him. I tried to see his point and worked on giving him more attention. We seemed to be progressing towards reconcilliation and I was to move home Oct 1st.
On Sept 27th I found out he was having an emotional affair the whole time denying anything physical. He said he ended the affair and finally in Nov confessed to a physical affair.
He says he is a changed man, he now does laundry (his own and our sons as we are separated), has our son 50/50 (never changed a diaper or got up in night, never even held him until he was almost 5months old), he attended our son's activities & events (prior said it was my responsibility and was too busy), never missed a pick up after school (prior had never once picked him up as he couldn't get away in time from work), wants to do things as a family (use to take his vacations separate to work on his cars etc), shows up at my townhouse with flowers regularly (never gave me flowers or was romantic), he helps me during bad weather to get to work or clean off my car (never helped me with my car, said he shouldn't have to take care of me).
So now that he wants to reconcile he is this changed man? I wonder is this fake or real? I ask him why now, he said it was a wake up call loosing us and he was in a fog all summer and most of our married life. But it all seems too much?
So not only do I need to learn to trust him again, there is this new person that I need to fall in love with??
Did your spouse change and was it REAL?