I often hear about connections made on Facebook... affairs that were either started, maintained, or even exclusively conducted on this social platform.
I think Facebook is great. Currents Counseling even has it's own Facebook page (facebook.com/currentscounseling
). But I know that any good thing can be used for selfish purposes.
Do you have a Facebook story?
Facebook has ravages over half of my friends marriages. While it's great to connect to friends and family from over the years, what starts out as harmless can be like playing with matches and fire.
In my case, it all started with my AP friending me on Facebook when I took over as the management in our company. Within a day there were over a thousand messages back and forth as a "friendship" started and flourished. Within two weeks naked photos were exchanged. From there it just went downhill.
Facebook is also what eventually got me caught. While I was very careful with password and such, my password manager undid all of that.
Plus, during the relationship I had with the AP Facebook continued to be a pain in my side because of my AP insecurity. I felt I had to remove parts of my past in order to make the AP feel good about where I was at. (Removing pictures of the wedding, changing my relationship status, who and what I pressed "like" to.)
To be honest, I almost quit Facebook. But, I have connections with all sorts of people from my work in the past, and I don't want to lose that.
Facebook is great. The problem was with me, and my boundaries. I made the choices I did, but it wasn't Facebook fault.
As an aside, my best man got caught in a "sexting" affair with a former friend on Facebook. He got completely off FB, and all should have been well.
Except when he found out about my infidelity (he was the first friend I reached out to and told ) he encouraged me and implied it would be good to have a three way... Yeah, no.
So, Facebook is the least of his problems. Boundaries are.
I want to note something too. Facebook is old fashioned. Today there are plenty of social media appt that don't save your history. Take Snapchat for instance. You send something like a picture or a 10 second video, and it disappears. That's that. No one is the wiser. Plus, if someone takes a screen shot of it, you are alerted.
Or, there is periscope... This is a live app like Skype except you can have followers you can communicate with live, and no record is kept.
I'm not meaning to say it doesn't matter, it does, but I think what's most important is boundaries. What you will and won't do. Facebook may make it easier, but it won't change your boundaries if you are clear about them.