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I'm glad Dr. Carder isn't part of the Rush to Forgiveness movement. Grieving and Mourning hurt and they are a tough process.
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Great video. I have struggled to convince my wife that trying even the "90 day experiment" is even worth it. The biggest hurt I have experienced is her complete lack of attempt or consideration at any repair. We have done counseling for a number of months now but the topic of repair or a separation from the AP has never been on the table in any real way. It is painful seeing a person you care about trapped in some way by an addiction and knowing there is little you can do since by the very nature of an affair your viewpoint / opinion is rendered essentially null. 
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Great video. Through our journey to recovering, my WS and I are learning that our marriage pre affair probably wasn't that great. He looks back on it more that way then I do, but I have enough insight to know that I don't want to go back to that marriage anyway. Look forward to hopefully building something great. I liked how he said that if you can agree that even 20% of it was good, you have a 90% chance of survival. I like all the hopeful information I can get. Lots of work to get there, either way, it will be worth it.
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