I second everything Tim said - those two questions are ones you should REALLY spend some time with.
Everything your WH doing right now still comes across as VERY self-centered. He isn't "ending" things with the OW - he's enjoying the last days of her VISA and then hoping to return to his family home. You are already talking about how to improve your marriage, so once he comes home he will have a wife focused on him, reconciliation and the relationship. So he won't spend one moment lonely, or feeling unwanted or uncertain of how those he loves feel about him. Instead he will go from the "high" of the OW wanting to be with him, to the "high" of you fighting for the marriage. And how do you know that she and he won't stay in touch long term? That she will visit again? Or that he will visit her. He's NOT going no contact even though you've asked him to. Until he makes an unequivocal decision to end ALL contact - and HUMBLY work on himself before asking you to look at one thing in the marriage (that should come later), I would begin to build a life without him. This is the time to remind him that you are more than capable of building a life that does not include him that can be happy and full. I am serious about this. If you try to rebuild a marriage on the grounds of you feeling second best and always trying to be "good enough" for him to want you instead of her (or someone else) - than you are signing up for pain, anger and resentment. He needs to put YOU first - his loyalty needs to be with YOU, he needs to worry more about what is causing YOU pain than what is causing her pain, He needs to be thinking about how to save YOUR relationship, not how to make her happy until she leaves the country. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. i don't care how he is justifying his actions to you, or himself. I am sure he's telling himself it's because he is being kind - she came all the way to your country, right? I call BS. Kindness isn't leading people on - her or you. Right now he seems more concerned about not causing HIMSELF pain than with either your or her long term well being. I would separate myself on every emotional level and let him know that I was re-evaluating how committed I was to the relationship. That I was beginning to have my own doubts about its long term viability - because from the outside looking in - I do have doubts that without a SIGNIFICANT change of heart from your WH that this marriage is not viable.
BS - Female
Married 27 years, one adult child DD May 2016 “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - V Frankl