notemanj
I just opened Tim’s email about closing the forum. And it has hit me like a ton of bricks. This has been the place I knew I could come to vomit all of the pain I was feeling and get good, real feedback. I have come to rely on this forum to help me think through what was eating my brain alive at whatever time of day. 

This particular group seemed very well suited to my style.  Not overly religious. Not rude and mean. No one seemed to be here for anything other than to help and get help. 

I will miss you all dearly. Thank you for your words of encouragement and your help. 
Female BS Married 18 yrs
DDay 3/7/2017 through 5/15/2018 and counting. 
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TheFarmGirl
I’m floored as well. I actually cried a bit. Because it’s not just like loosing one supportive friend, it’s loosing all of them. I (and probably most of us) don’t have anyone I can talk to this candidly. 

I have really needed and appreciated all of your support, wisdom and sharing. Thanks everyone here. I wish there was a way to keep this forum alive and available to those of us who so badly need it. 
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Keepabuzz
Like you, this is the only place I can be completely open.
Male BS, D-day July 2015, trying to stay out of the dark.....
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notemanj
I am looking on Facebook right now for something similar to here. I found Healing After the Affair support group. I can only hope that I will find people on there similar to here. I don’t want to be involved in any discussion forums that are just about bashing people. And it seems like most of what’s out there is all about that. Sign of the times, I guess. 
Female BS Married 18 yrs
DDay 3/7/2017 through 5/15/2018 and counting. 
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Keepabuzz
The problem with Facebook as a platform is the complete lack of anonymity. I for one have zero desire for any of this to be in the public, unless I were to explicitly choose it to be. 
Male BS, D-day July 2015, trying to stay out of the dark.....
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ThrivenotSurvive
I completely agree.  I was deeply saddened by the news.  I have felt that this forum was a huge part of my healing and while I will miss it for myself - I am worried  for those who won’t have it available when it is needed.  

I, too, didn’t find many other places where people seemed honest and raw - but not cruel or intent on vitriol.  

And I agree with Keepabuzz - this is a forum that I have particularly appreciated because of the level of anonymity it provided.  This is something that I only want to share with people on my terms - and too many other platforms don’t allow for that.  

However if there are some members who would like to exchange emails to keep in touch, DM me before this closes.  I hate for us all to lose the support.
BS - Female
Married 27 years, one adult child
DD May 2016

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - V Frankl
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hurting
I too, would hate to lose contact with everyone here... but the same issues of anonymity would arise. I don’t even use Facebook any more- no social media for me thanks. That’s the AP’s method of choice for stalking me and harassing me. 

I am grateful for the fact that this community has been here for me in SO many ways. Although I am starting to get to the point where I am trying to come here less and I am less dependent upon this place, that time wasn’t so long ago and I can easily see how if things went badly, I would be back on here daily- or even hourly, looking for help, advice and comfort. 

All you amazing people have helped me so SO much. I am saddened by notion that we will no longer have each other 🙁
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Skelling
Being new and still very much at the beginning of my journey, I value this forum and all your advice very much and knowing that this will be taken again from me, almost gives me panic. i finally found a place, where I felt heard and taken seriously. in a time where trust wasn't there, I could TRUST that here, there would always be someone to give advice or just acknowledge how I feel. I am part of another paid support group but value that here are both sides, which I find very helpful. I very much hope that there is a way to keep it up but in case it doesn't thank you for taking me in and for giving me the feeling that all will be alright. I read the following the other day and it pretty much sums it up.

"I love when people that have been through hell, walk out of the flames carrying buckets of water for those still consumed by fire." 
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Hamsterwheel6
I’m not new, just haven’t posted before. Not sure why, but what I can say is that I feel that I know a lot of you so well and your stories and struggles and shares have helped me tremendously as I navigate my own story. My husband has had 2 emotional attachments in the past 10 years, the most recent 2 years ago. Still on the road to recovery but this place has been a life saver truly. I come here Every. Single. Day.  to read and learn and not feel so alone sometimes. 
I am heartbroken that this place will go away.  I really hope there is away to keep it going. I would be lost.
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notemanj
Skelling: where is that quote from? I love it!
Female BS Married 18 yrs
DDay 3/7/2017 through 5/15/2018 and counting. 
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Courage
I just sent Tim an email in response to closing and see that so many others have similar sentiments so I will also share it here:

Tim,
 
Your website, forum and podcasts were a lifeline for me in the months following my spouses affair. When the pain and anxiety were unbearable, I turned to your valuable articles, or reached out to others in the forum. What an amazing support system. It brought me comfort. Knowing I wasn’t alone in the lonely isolating hell I was living was comfort beyond words.
 
I appreciate all the work that you have done and the hours you’ve poured in. Your passion for helping others heal was always evident in everything you have offered.
 
I’m sure I am one of many that found comfort in the forum and resources.
 
Sad to see it go as I still visit the forum regularly and I feel the pain of those especially who are new to this unfortunately ‘horrible’ club.
 
With deep gratitude,
Courage
(A First Member)
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pea
This is a huge loss to us. I am not trying to sound dramatic when I say this but it is on the brink of devastating not having this place to turn to, not only for me but for so many others...regular posters, occasional posters, those that lurk still here absorbing whatever they can.

As if being a BS isn't already an incredibly (understatement) lonely place to be. This will just make it so much worse. Talk about really feeling isolated and on your own when this closes. Sigh.
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pea
double post, sorry 
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ssix6pack
I took a step away from the forum after my husband disclosed far more information. One ONS turned into over 10. Prostitutes and drunken hookups, the works. My entire marriage. I knew I’d need to process it all without any outside influences aside from my own counselors/etc. 

It is sad to see this group closing down. The help you all offered to me, fantastic. It’s a loss to the affair-stricken community. 

I wish each of you peace and healing. 
Betrayed female
Feb 10th husband had ONS
Feb 11th was d-day 
Heartbroken, but healing.
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notemanj
Ssix6pack: I am so so sorry to hear that!  I have to confess that at times when you would post, I was very jealous of how well the two of you worked out your situation. Just goes to show that you never know what is going on in someone else’s life. 

I think about that sometimes times when I’m driving and a car is riding my tail. You never know why it’s important to them to be moving so fast. 

I wish you all the best! Read over your own past posts and remember what a strong, beautiful woman you are. And don’t forget that you are not the sum of his mistakes! He has a problem. And you can love him while he works on fixing it. But it is not your problem to fix. Best wishes to you always!!!!
Female BS Married 18 yrs
DDay 3/7/2017 through 5/15/2018 and counting. 
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