My kids went through a time they didn’t want to see their dad after he left too. My H blamed he for turning them against him, always deflecting the blame. After a while I stopped fighting with him about it and stopped nasty texts, only talked when needed. That part was hard but anytime you do that it only justifies (in their mind anyway) that leaving you was a good choice. I put on a happy not caring act anytime we had to talk or see each other. I won’t give him the satisfaction of seeing me as angry and miserable. Think about it, do you like being around angry and miserable people? Not at all, be or act like the kind of person you want to be or be around. Don’t let him think you are nasty in any way. You will see a difference in yourself and how he responds to you. His relationship with your kids is on him. They are old enough to know how they feel and he can blame you all he wants but eventually he will have to realize it’s his fault, just be careful not to talk negatively about him to your kids. They will respect you even more for being the better person. Ignore him when he blames you, don’t even respond to anything negative or accusatory from him, it will only make him feel validated in his claims.
Female BS, two kids age 10 & 13
Married 16 years, together for 23 years total D Days - Feb 2013, June 2015 and Sept 2017 All with the same OW Separated