TimT
Excerpts from a wife's prayer journal following her husband's affair. You can read Celia's Journal online using the link below, or download the PDF version (attached) for offline reading.

http://www.affairhealing.com/celia-journal.html
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Sharon
Hello and welcome to my Journal forum.
If you've been reading these entries, you are probably going through something similar to what I wrote about all those years ago. For that, I am sorry. My heart hurts for you, as I still remember the anguish of those days.
Today, I still journal, but my entries are more mundane, thankfully. Less pain, more normal life stressors. I am currently married, and have been since 2008. I am married to a man who is quite understanding about my past, dealing with a cheating spouse. He is typically extremely understanding when I need a bit of extra reassurance, and maybe some added details about what his day has included. So yes, it is possible to have a normal and trusting relationship.
In addition, I am in the process of becoming a mental health counselor today, and have already had clients dealing with the trauma of having an unfaithful spouse. It is my hope that I can be there to help them walk through this pain and grief, in ways I wish I had had, back in that first marriage.
I wish you all the grace and healing you need, during this time. You CAN make it through. You CAN heal and trust again. Just keep moving forward one moment at a time, and take good care of yourself...
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Godspeach
Celia, your journal entries reminded me of my own early on. The only difference was there were so many females through the years. He was NEVER mine. Sometimes, I wish we hadn't had the kids because I could have left him.
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Sharon
Godspeach, I know the feeling about the children.  I chose not to have children with my wayward ex, and at the time I figured that was the best bet.  What I did not know was that once we divorced, I would not marry again for almost 9 years, which took me through almost all of my childbearing years.  Then once I did remarry, we could not have children. So,  I guess I may have chosen differently, had I known I would never be blessed to have my own children. It's a tough situation, either way, I believe...  
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