I have been in love with exactly 2 people in my life. They both cheated on me. That fact was devastating. But what has been worse both times, was the fact that other people knew. Other people who claimed to be my friends. Other people who didn’t think it was their place to fill me in.
None of those people are still in my life. I have no respect for them any longer. It’s not the sex that destroys us. It’s the lies. The lies are the bomb that explodes our safety. The secrets that others keep is what makes the humiliation so awful. I would tell the spouse and I would tell him ASAP. If they have an open marriage, then he won’t care. If he is angry with your husband, he has every right to be. If you you have any concerns for your safety or your marriage, then keep quiet. You have every right to protect your family. But, if that’s not the case, then tell him. However you think it is safest to tell him, tell him! The secrets are what kills more than anything else.
Wishing everyone here peace and healing! Female BS Married 18 yrs DDay 3/7/2017 through 4/2019 and counting.