ssix6pack

It has been a while. Adding a fifth baby has greatly ability to sit and concentrate on groups like this, although I think about you all often. 

I’ve realized something since my 5th was born.  After d day 1 I lost so much weight. I went from a healthy size 6 to a 0. But, somehow that weight loss makes my insecurities, and I unknowingly told mark that skinny was beauty, and I didn’t have to worry about what the AP(s) looked like because how many women are really so thin...🙄 it masked my insecurities. 

 Now, bouncing back from another baby... I’m back to my normal. Healthy. Relatively fit. So insecure. I feel like all of the progress we had made is destroyed, because I don’t know how to trust that *he* finds me attractive. 

 Anyone have advice for this part of the healing? Let me be clear. I’m only insecure with him. I know that I’m healthy, I know I’m fit. I could imagine other men finding me attractive, but not him. He makes me feel insecure. His memories scare me. His, potential, comparisons...


He’s still a new man. He’s committed, kind, generous, thoughtful, repentant. But, I’m stuck in this one area. 

 I’d welcome any advice. 

Betrayed female
2/11/18, d day #1. 
1/2019, d day #2.
Over a decade of unfaithfulness. 
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ssix6pack
So many typos. I’m sorry. I am usually sitting, holding the baby. Autocorrect is not my friend! 
Betrayed female
2/11/18, d day #1. 
1/2019, d day #2.
Over a decade of unfaithfulness. 
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hurting
No easy answers on this one. Would be interested in other people’s perspectives too. 

I also lost a whole whole lot of weight post d-day. In my addled state, this too seemed like a ‘good’ thing to me. I dropped to about 46kg. 

Now that I’m ‘better’, I’m sitting at a ‘massive’ 55kg! I’ve stopped weighing myself out of fear of the numbers. 

I do bring it up with him now and then. He will say that I’m not fat etc and that I look fine... but the mind is a tricky thing. 
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