It has been a while. Adding a fifth baby has greatly ability to sit and concentrate on groups like this, although I think about you all often.
I’ve realized something since my 5th was born. After d day 1 I lost so much weight. I went from a healthy size 6 to a 0. But, somehow that weight loss makes my insecurities, and I unknowingly told mark that skinny was beauty, and I didn’t have to worry about what the AP(s) looked like because how many women are really so thin...🙄 it masked my insecurities.
Now, bouncing back from another baby... I’m back to my normal. Healthy. Relatively fit. So insecure. I feel like all of the progress we had made is destroyed, because I don’t know how to trust that *he* finds me attractive.
Anyone have advice for this part of the healing? Let me be clear. I’m only insecure with him. I know that I’m healthy, I know I’m fit. I could imagine other men finding me attractive, but not him. He makes me feel insecure. His memories scare me. His, potential, comparisons...
He’s still a new man. He’s committed, kind, generous, thoughtful, repentant. But, I’m stuck in this one area.
I’d welcome any advice.
2/11/18, d day #1.
1/2019, d day #2.
Over a decade of unfaithfulness.