Apologies and a little pre-warning - not everyone is going to agree with what I write here. But this is my experience and I’m being as honest as I can ....
I am a married woman in my early thirties. I love my husband dearly, but there are times when our relationship can be “dry”. I am not blaming him for this at all, we are both to blame and at times, could make more of an effort with one another. However, we both get on and he has never been bad to me! Quite the opposite I suppose.
My story begins early last year. A new guy stared at work and I was instantly attracted to him. We got on well and I had a feeling he liked me too. Anyway, he’s in a relationship and after a little Facebook snooping I realised he seemed happy enough and tried to put him out of my head. Let’s call him Tom to keep things simple.
One night I had been out with friends and had posted a few photos on Facebook. Tom liked them and I was feeling rather chuffed with myself. Anyway, when I got home I logged back into my account and noticed that he had sent me a private message. I messaged back immediately and let’s just say things got rather heated quite quickly. We both admitted that we fancied each other and if things were different, would take things forward.
This continued for a few weeks until we both had to spend time at work working on a joint project. One night once everyone else had left he asked if I wanted to come to his (his gf was working late and my husband was on a stag do). I knew I shouldn’t have but I found it very hard to say no and to keep the story short, we kissed. This happened on a few more occasions with us eventually spending more and more time together.
Fast forward a few months and we are seeing each other after work most days and text every hour. We are literally obsessed with each other. He compliments everything about me and I think the world of him. I am so madly attracted to him that I still get nervous any time he is close to me . I know he feels the exact same and he will go above and beyond to show how much he cares about me.
His gf has seen a few messages and pictures on his phone but has forgiven him and taken him back. My husband knows nothing. We have spoken about leaving our current relationship and getting together and had been planning on doing so ... but I had to put a stop to this before Xmas due to a possible work promotion (our relationship may have jeopardised this).
Things have continued to bumble along and all I can say is that we care very deeply about one another. Until .... a fortnight ago he has told me that his gf is 4 weeks pregnant and can’t walk away from her as they thought they couldn’t have kids. As you can imagine, this has broken my heart completely. I have ended things altogether but I feel as if I have went through the worst breakup imaginable. I try to be happy for them (a new life is to be celebrated) but I miss him so much .....
Having to work with him is difficult. Soon people will be congratulating them on their happy news and I will be hurting inside. He’s also keen to remain friends and has since sent me a few more flirty messages but I can’t even look at him now.
In addition, I have betrayed my husband in the worst way possible. As I said before , he is a wonderful man and I let my selfishness and lust get in the way of an amazing marriage. I feel so guilty and heartbroken for ruining my marriage , and lost and saddened at a love I can’t have.
So please take caution. The heart is not something to be played with ... people say that u can’t truly love two people but for a little while I did, and now I feel more lonely than ever.
Some will not be able to see past the fact I have cheated on my husband, but when you have an instant attraction with someone who promises the world it can be hard to say no. I’m only my human after all.