I agree with both of the above.
Here is what I took away from your post: You are deeply unhappy. he is making no SERIOUS effort to improve your relationship or you lives together unless you talk of ending it. During what should have been the “honeymoon” period of your relationship he has already betrayed you. He says he did nothing wrong becuase you were “dating” but still was not honest about it until you went digging. If that is how he acts when he does not believe he’s done wrong- how honest will he be when he knows he’s done wrong? You are unhappy becuase this is a bad relationship. It has NONE of the qualities that make up a good one. He does not make you feel loved or valued with any consistency. You do not trust him. You cannot count on him to be an equal partner financially or emotionally.
Unless I am missing something here, I think it is pretty clear this is a no win situation. Be glad you don’t share kids and send him packing. I think you are being used.
BS - Female
Married 27 years, one adult child DD May 2016 “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - V Frankl