Angrywife
We are about 7 months past D day from a 2 time physical affair that was a much longer emotional affair. Happened 3 years ago. My ws has been attentive, affectionate, helpful, all of the things you want in a spouse.....until I mention it. As long as I keep quiet things are fine. Bc of all the texting that went back and forth between them, I requested phone records. I got them the first time which showed how much they talked. What I haven't gotten is recent ones I've asked for showing that there has been no contact. He says he has requested them and they haven't called him. I've been asking for these for 6 months. It took 5 for him to go get him and now I can't get him to check on them. Of course that makes me think he has something to hide. He says there is nothing on them and he hasn't had any contact with her. Well forgive me if I can't just believe that as many times as I have been lied to. So now we have what was a calm period interrupted bc I said something. Of course the war starts then bc he puts many words in my mouth and says that I say he is not trying at all. It flips to make him the victim every time. I'm tired of the same old.
Quote 0 0
surviving
Angrywife - the phone records are all online and it takes seconds to pull them up.  Sounds fishy to me.
Quote 0 0
Angrywife
We can't get detailed phone records online. I have access to the online account but my name isn't on the account. You have to go to the store in person to get the detailed records.
Quote 0 0
Fionarob
Angrywife - I agree this sounds suspicious.  As someone who has seen their husband relapse into the affair 9 times, I know all the signs.  My husband would end the affair and always start off well. He would talk whenever I want to, leave his 'phone around for me to check, show me 'phone records etc etc.  Then, once he had restarted the affair, he would gradually change.  Any attempts by me to 'talk' would end in him being defensive and shouting. Any requests for transparency would be met by 'why do you need to see that, there is nothing going on'......

I always knew this was wrong - if a WS has really ended the affair they would want to do anything they can to prove to you they are being honest.  They would do everything they could to help you trust them again. 
Quote 0 0
Angrywife
I agree. He has been very good to me until I question anything. And I'm not ugly about it. He doesn't like the fact that I want that kind of proof. He turns it around on me and says that I'm saying he's not trying. The bottom line is I don't trust him. He caused that and he should be willing to do anything on the spot to rectify that, but it just doesn't seem like he is. I wish someone would slap some sense into him and make him wake up and realize what he is jeopardizing, bc I will not live the rest of my life in worry.
Quote 0 0
Kalmarjan
I agree. If he were to be an open book, so to speak, then there should be little problem putting you on the account for your viewing pleasure.
There isn't a cell phone company out there that doesn't do online phone reports. In fact, most records that are sent to you via request are nothing more than database printouts.
Something is fishy here.
Quote 0 0
UrbanExplorer
My husband checked up on my Verizon phone records recently and was able to do it online in seconds.
Quote 0 0
flight
Same with T-Mobile, All phone calls, every text to and from what number and whether it was a picture or just text. (not the actual content of the texts though obviously)
Quote 0 0
Hope4Healing

There isn't a cell phone company out there that doesn't do online phone reports.

Not true. Our cell phone company, CSpire only has the records online for prepaid phones. If there's a contract, you have to go to a store and order them and they are mailed to you.
Hope4Healing
Quote 0 0
Kalmarjan
https://www.cspire.com/my_account/personal/landing.jsp?id=landing-mma-updates

This here describes how you can access the account (if your name is on the file) so that you can look at the bill. It will be saved in PDF format, which coincidentally is the same format they use to print the bill that you get in the store. 

I hope that this helps you out.
Quote 0 0
Hurt
angrywife... If you think something is hinky and he's not being 100% available to talk about your concerns, there is an issue.

Having proof  makes it easier to know what he's doing, but trust your gut. If he's angry about you needing to see the bills, there is something there that he doesn't want you to see.

People that have nothing to hide...hide nothing.

Quote 0 0