EasyAsABC Show full post »
anthro
Good point. I have literally never once ever looked through this site by category.
Formerly known as Anthropoidape... male bs, long affair, d-day Feb 2017.
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UrbanExplorer
I don't know the answer, but most WS leave the site pretty quickly. Even posting in a category like Unfaithful Testimonials can turn a WS into a stand-in for all a-hole WS rather than an individual seeking help. On the flip side, I've been in a forum just for WS where lots of people were still cheating and feeling justified, so there is a balance somewhere.
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BorealJ
Yeah.  Just making it clear what category you are in and what the intentions of that category are.  I'm not sure my voice would be a good challenging voice to an AP but Urban's sure is.  There are places to reach across to the other parties and I'm not advocating for segregating, just a little clarity about the intentions of each category.  Then it can be moderated.  I'd hate to see people leave when they are truly looking for help
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ThrivenotSurvive
BorealJ wrote:
I'd hate to see people leave when they are truly looking for help


Agreed. 
BS - Female
Married 27 years, one adult child
DD May 2016

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - V Frankl
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Experiencethedevine29
Hang on a minute, why are you persecuting her? HE is responsible for both yours and her demise. She didn’t do this to herself did she? You have no idea how this whole business has affected her in reality.  Of course what you would both benefit from is total no contact, but HE actually messaged you to tell you what she’d done ffs...

if he hadn’t, you wouldn’t have known would you, so light the fire at HIS feet. He’s the one stirring up s*it...and if you’re to block her everywhere, (apparently at his request..🙄)  and you’re saying you need them out of your life, how come he can still message you? Haven’t you blocked HIM everywhere so that there’s no way he can contact you?

come on, you’re upset.  Understandable and I get the ‘spying on you’ business, I had to deal with all that bollocks myself, but she’s done buggar all to you, he’s the one who set you back.   As for comparing herself, that’s something that affects every BS and has nothing to do with whether they think the AP is ‘better’ or not, it’s about the damage done by the person they believed they could trust to their ego.

Perhaps the best thing you could do is tell HIM to eff off and never contact you again and stop laying blame at her feet. Maybe ask yourself ‘why’ you’re a avoiding going off on him.  You might find some relief in looking at it from this perspective.


ETD 🌻
Expectation is the root of all heartache.. ’Will Shakespeare
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EasyAsABC
I know there’s a lot of replies here, but it may be useful to scroll through them quick. Most of your points are addressed here already. 
For your last point, I was avoiding going off on him only because I didn’t want to have continued contact. I’d love to go off on him, but I don’t want to be in contact, even if it’s just to tear him a new one. He’s told me before that he doesn’t care if I hate him, because you can only hate someone you have strong feelings for, so if I hated him, to him, it meant I still had the ability to love him. He was scared of me becoming “indifferent” to him, because that’s the opposite of love. So instead of giving him the idea that I hate him, I just let it go, in an attempt to embrace the indifference. And then ranted on here. 
BS to an abusive H 2009-2018
OW 2018-2019
I wear many hats.
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Experiencethedevine29
You’re absolutely right of course A, I saw your  initial post first and responded en route to work without scanning the replies, so forgive me for not having done so first. 

This is is the place to rant and get it out absolutely. We all need a space away from the bloody drama to share some ‘sense’ of kinship with others travelling the same way, and I genuinely hope you aren’t perturbed by responses that you believe might not fit your particular narrative, because no harm is intended here. 

We’re often more critical of ourselves for being so gullible/naive/ignorant as to believe all the horse manure we get dished up aren’t we?

I’ll give him this. He’s VERY good at creating drama. He likes to light the touch paper and rub his hands together because he knows it’s going to go off...ffs...🙄

You don’t have to have continued contact.  I know you say you still have feelings for him but do yourself a favour and cut the cord completely.  He’s a twat. You don’t need a twat keeping you company, haven’t you had enough of that in your history?

Listen, I’m just a gobby mare (never was before all this s*it, but there you are) but I do care. I just don’t beat around the bush anymore.  Pay my bluntness no mind.  As Thtive mentioned, we all come here from different places, but the common ground 
is just that. 

EDT 🌻
Expectation is the root of all heartache.. ’Will Shakespeare
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ThrivenotSurvive
@Experiencethedevine29 - 

Sometimes when reading your posts I laugh like a 10 year old - "gobby mare"?  I will have to add that to the data banks.  

I bet you could teach me some swear words and "colorful phrases" that could make me giggle for days.  
BS - Female
Married 27 years, one adult child
DD May 2016

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - V Frankl
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Experiencethedevine29
@Experiencethedevine29 - 

Sometimes when reading your posts I laugh like a 10 year old - "gobby mare"?  I will have to add that to the data banks.  

I bet you could teach me some swear words and "colorful phrases" that could make me giggle for days.  


😂😂...himself is still learning my lovely! 😂😂....😳...we deal with enough bollocks on a daily basis don’t we? Sometimes a giggle is a sight more beneficial than the paracetamol for the headache you get just thinking about what it all means, no? 

Youre doing a grand job by the way, keep it up girl! 

ETD🌻
Expectation is the root of all heartache.. ’Will Shakespeare
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ThrivenotSurvive
Agreed ETD -  a giggle is much better medicine indeed 🙂
BS - Female
Married 27 years, one adult child
DD May 2016

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” - V Frankl
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