I found out about my husband's affair over a year ago. He swore it was only emotional and that he would break it off. Well, he didn't. He continued the affair and it became physical. So, he got mad at me and moved out. He began dating right away and sleeping with other women. Four months later, he woke up, came clean about everything and recommitted to the marriage. He moved back in and has been totally transparent ever since.
I am struggling with the anger that I have now. I will have triggers that pop up out of the blue and I'm forced to deal with. My husband's AP is married and her husband doesn't know. I have thought many times about telling him. I keep telling myself that if I were in the situation, I would want someone to tell me. But, I just can't bring myself to do it.
I am so angry that my husband, his AP and a woman that he slept with that was a "friend" get to walk away with no consequences. The "friend" has been in a committed relationship before, during and after being intimate with my husband. I'm so mad. But, my anger is my secondary emotion. I'm hurt, that is the primary emotion. But I am so tired of being hurt.
My husband said that while we were apart, he was pretending that he was okay. He was dating and going out a lot with friends. Part of me is scared. What if he is just pretending right now? I'm such a mess. We go through periods where things are okay, really good and then something will trigger me and I'm so down.
We talked about reclaiming the triggers for ourselves. Knowing that it will be hard, but taking back our relationship and making those things ours again.
It's really hard. I know that I am so strong to go through this. Sometimes, I get tired of being strong.