How did you (as the bs) let go of the anger? I think I'm not angry until we get into a MC session and then I am full of anger and almost hate. But we leave and in a few hours I am normally fine. I'm not sure what the deal is but I know I am angry/hurt and still dealing with all the emotions so how did you deal with them?
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So anger is really fear and/or pain. It takes time and patience to look at and feel it.

It helps if you have mist or all the answers to feel you need. You may find you need more along the way .

I won't deny throwing a few things either, but that was me! And lucky for him he already had left the house.
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Brandi - we are 28 months from DDay.  It took three months to get all the sexual sins out of him.  After that, the anger came and went.  Right now, most of the anger is gone.  Every once in awhile there is a word, action or finding out something new that brings the anger back.  Like Graceandhope said, you need all the answers to the questions you need to ask.  I am still asking questions.  The questions aren't about details, but digging into what kind of man he was, is and plans to be.  I didn't like the "old" husband, I am not sure I will like the "new" husband.  That is still up for grabs.  Give it time, you are new to this (at least newer than I am to this).  The anger does fade in time.  Give it time.
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I'm about 15 months out for Dday and at first I was angry and resentful at a whole host of things. The unfairness of it all, the fact that my WS couldn't make a decision, how he seemed unable to take in anything I was trying to explain to him. I continued to try to be empathise and supportive and still am to certain degree but, enough was enough. If he was still so wrapped up in his shame and remorse to even try to see what he needed to be doing to support me, well, I wasn't going to keep making the effort. So I left him to it. He knows where I am if the light finally switches on, but mostly now, I concentrate on me.
The anger hasn't completely gone, and occasionally we have 'words' when he visits, and that's mostly triggered by him slipping back into a way of speaking to me that used to frustrate me when he lived at home. It's funny how living apart conditions you into forgetting all those irritating little habits and foibles, and boy, does it annoy me when it reappears!
But in general I've managed to cultivate a deep inner peace, with myself and my circumstances and that is really comforting. Feeling calmer really helps to dissipate those angry and resentful feelings.
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@brandi - that is exactly me. We are 11 months past DD. I have learned to dread MC. Day to day life is good, but we don't deal with affair stuff often. We save it for MC. Still lots to heal, I know. I usually travel to MC feeling good and think "I have no idea what will come up" and then something DOES come up. Always. And I'm filled with anger. Some weeks I'm able to gather myself quickly after MC. Some weeks I'm left reeling. I know my WH dreads MC now. He says he feels "interrogated" - and I can understand why. But it's the only time during the week that I feel safe enough to address all the bad stuff that still festers. Will it ever stop? How did you other BS get through it all?
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