Hello guys;
This Affair happened in front of my eyes with my own extended cousin involved with my wife; He presented himself as a friend and we both confided our family issues with him as my wife was having issues with my parents.

They presented this as a tonic relationship and just being friends; We used to meet almost daily to talk about stuff in his car; thing is he started to call my wife during her maternity leave; They got real close without my knowledge. 

 When they were deceiving me and keeping secret contact my wife always told me to bring the proof as I have no base for accusation; So they challenged me to do this and I did it.

So, as of Now I have Forcefully opened up details of the affair by putting VAR in our Car and doing a DNA test; Details came out that she was addicted and madly in love with him, and they had a baby without my knowledge as I was not able to get a baby for her and she got desperate.

Now, I exposed the affair in front of my Brother, AP wife and his Mom and put a No Contact policy in Place;

I have also installed Life360 Phone GPS Tracker in my wife phone; I asked her to add this after she broke the No contact rule when she got desperate to meet him; Now, I will get an update anytime she reaches work or leaves work.

She also knows that I have a VAR installed in the car; So, she will not contact AP via phone when in Car; She keeps asking me to remove the VAR as she does not know where I put it; What would you respond to this request?

The other guy will be out of our life as I voluntarily involved him in our holiday celebration and other Social events before I found out how they deceived me.

What would you guys recommend step after this? As I know my wife gets desperate about other guy at times and she says that I can not stop her feelings for him.

Ultimately, this relation was created by my actions as I allowed a safe and secure place and time for them to meet; I took responsibility any time my parents and relatives saw him involved in our life.

Biggest question I have is if they are contacting each other secretly; Is this something I should keep a watch on constantly; when Is the safe time to stop digging? how would you dig deeper if its gone underground?

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Dig as deep as you need to and for as LONG as you need to. If your gut says there is more, there will be more.

The time to stop is when the cheater shows remorse and consistent sustained CHANGE. Not over one day, or week, or even a month. I’m talking many months of no screw ups, complete change in attitude and actual remorse.

I sense not even the tiniest shred of remorse in your wife. Be wary and alert. Protect yourself.
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Sorry to hear that your going through this Canadien. Hurting is exactly right and I cannot agree more. I would CLEARLY communicate boundaries, if you haven’t already. And never, never make the mistake of not following through with consequences, should those boundaries be crossed. At the end of the day you cannot force anyone to do anything but if you need reassurance the “No contact” is being honored by constantly watching, GPS, etc, etc, then so be it. Good luck
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