Can't speak personally of course (yet) but it always amazes me how many people do as Intuition says and think you should be over it by now. Even down to the WS at times! I understand that perhaps the WS gets a little fed up of explaining and repeating themselves, of constantly reassuring,and just might want it all to be over, but you would think that role of a support network of friends and family is different.
So I compare that to how it feels when supporting someone with depression, and it can be so tiring and draining. It's a constant neediness in them that can wear you out. So in order to support someone with depression you kind of need the support yourself.
I'm thinking here that maybe it feels a bit similar when trying to support someone going through the affair/recovery/divorce aftermath. Maybe they don't actually think you should be over it by now...but it's more ,I can't do this for them anymore, I can't personally cope'. So they shut off, and give you the impression they've given up on you. And again they don't understand and they can't empathise, if they haven't been through it. Which is why a community like this one is so good for us as we are getting both sides supporting each other.
I know I haven't really answered your question TimeToFly, I hope someone else can give you more from that view...
Just realized I never responded back to you on this...but what you said made a lot of sense. I think you're right that they really don't understand because they haven't been in this situation. They try & say things to make you feel better but I think they also get tired of hearing about what's going on. I've always tried to ask any close friends about their lives & what's going on with them before filling them in on what's happening with me. I think the hardest part is when some of my close friends have said "you just need to get over it & move on". I want to say "well it's easy for you to say that because your husband didn't have an affair" but instead I just keep my thoughts to myself.
This community is really good because everyone can relate in some way to something that is going on & as you said get support which is what I'm sure we all need. I've come to realize over this past month how many similarities there are with so many of us & perhaps in some way it's comforting to know that others out there are going through almost the same thing.