I'm trying to focus more on me right now, but I think things are so new and raw, it is hard. I am glad my husband is in therapy, it is something. But right now, my husband wants me to kick him out. He wants me to move on and feels I would be better off without him. I even told him at one point that I know this would be easier on him if I would just tell him I hate him. But I don't hate him right now. A part of me does, but a part of me still loves him. And I told him I am not ready to make a major decision like that right now. But if he is, then he should tell me. I really think he wants me to make the decision for him so he doesn't have to. And I will be damned if I will make the hard decision just to make it easier on him. I'll make it if I reach a point where I am ready. But I'm not going to do it right now just to ease his conscious and give him the easy out. I feel he needs to work through this confusion he has, for his own good and so he can be a good father. And if I make the decision for him, then he can just walk away and say "well, it is what she wanted. There was nothing I could do." So part of my reason for not giving him the out he wants is to make him finally own up to a decision. He wouldn't decide between her and me during the affair. And he says the decision is no longer about me or her, but it is about staying married or trying to start over. And I'm not going to make that decision for him. Not unless I reach a point where I can't go on with the limbo anymore.
Your story is just like mine. Except my H won't go to counseling. They always want the easy way out.